I am one of those people who has to look away when accident scenes, hospital scenes or just general injuries are shown on TV...
And No
I Never
Look through my fingers...
Have my eyes open just a little...
Or have a sneaky peak...
Can't do it, cannot be dealing with it, just let me know when its over, please..
Even with my kids and there numerous incidents over the years... Of course I'd.... Do the right thing... BUT
My inner voice.... "Yuk, yuk, yuk..... Really, did you have to: Smash your head on the pavement....; Run into hidden razor wire and slice your lips and gums....; Just sit there and let that Conker fall on your face and split the skin by your eye.... I mean, how inconsiderate... Now there is BLOOD, Urghhh, lots of Blood, blood, blood....Yuk, yuk, yuk.... Then after that's finally dealt with, there is the days of cleaning the wounds, actually having to look at them and hide them under the plasters etc. again.... Guys, don't be so careless..."
The paper stitches after the Biopsies were tricky enough..... They will just fall off in another day or two, they must, that's what I was told.... No.. 7 days, well just pull them off ya wimp ya....naaa.... After 10 days of flannel washing and still not dealing/looking at these 2 tiny areas... Solution... Sit and soak... One hour later, one has fallen off, tother hasn't....Trust one to be an awkward, difficult.eedjit... Ok half an hour longer...no joy, finally my 'bravery' (hmmhh, sigh) won through.. I did it... and... Relax..
So now, finding it very hard being lopsided, my OCD traits and Symmetrical desires are a twitching away, calm down woman, Dromedary's are so very, very cool, lovely, serene and ever so stunning.
I can deal with looking at the new me with clothes on... momentarily, little glimpses. Home is where I am learning to be comfortable just half hanging. Some visitors have no curiosity and hardly look, tothers tense a little, but given an hour have adjusted, then there is the ones where you just know that you have to wear that fleece bodywarmer that nearly hides the discrepancy of a Double D one side and totally flat the other, you can see them cringing even though they are desperately trying not to.
I can relate to the cringing, done it myself, do it myself about myself...
Chatting away to a kind soul friend who is cooking me food for the freezer, feel an itch, go to scratch the itch.... Urggh, yuk, yuk, shiver and shake, I seem to have lost part of myself, its not there...Breastless and breathless....Automatically shake and flick my hands to get rid of that cringing feeling that overwhelmed me momentarily.
Early days, slowly moving on and adapting, only 3 complete days since the op. Still have the bottle of what looks like Ribena or Red Wine (depending on your preferences) attached to me dripping away as it gets fuller, yes, I know, trying to ignore the fact that it is Blood, blood, blood....Yuk, yuk, yuk...
