The week when the dreaded and anticipated agony was to arrive was not unlike any other week before it really. Brian had gradually started feeling more fatigued, he tried to hide muscle weakness to his legs but did admit he was hiding it when I could see he couldn't stand easily and looked worried once he had managed to stand. As though he couldn't feel his legs. He announced one day that he could no longer walk…
Brian quickly recovered himself - composed himself. His way of dealing with it I guess. Perhaps in part cognitively unable to process it fully? According to the specialist nurse. I think it was more his personality not to be negative and refuse to surrender. He was brave and determined not to be told he was going to die. He said - no I am going to live. We will have to see who is right - either I am or they are. And that…
The days that followed the initial 'it could be a brain tumour' discussion didn't bring much information and we were left unsure, uncertain guessing what the future was to hold optimistic, then worried. Then frustrated, terror hope and fear. No answers - always waiting for this result and that result and this test. In fact I think we didn't actually know exactly what we were dealing with for about six weeks…
When people worry they have a brain tumour you might think they are being dramatic and that really they have a headache. I thought brain tumours were rare. Maybe they are - but not rare enough. I can type for England and I can talk about it for England - because Brian is all that is on my mind most seconds of most minutes.
When Brian first became ill with a brain tumour. I found it difficult to find information about…
