Feeling depressed tonight and really don' want to live a life with my mum not in it she is my best friend and we are 2 peas in a pod. She has stage 4 cancer they think womb but test still on going and is in lining of the lung she is 72 well 73 next month. The doctors say it' treatable but not curable. They are taking ages to pinpoint what cancer and longer it' being missed the longer not being treated and will go terminal .
When the time come and mum' no longer here I really don't want to live. I won' kill myself but I don' want a life with mum not in it. I am focussing on here and now and enjoying each day with mum. She is terrified and keeps begging me not to let her die it's horrendous and I am angry at cancer and shocked as cancer doesn't run in our family even tho I know it doesn't have too but more chance getting it if it does.
It' come as a huge shock she had no symptoms and only go bleeding from womb when stage 4 they call it a silent killer I'm angry and terrified and spend my time reassuring my mum and giving her hope.
Any advice or kind words I would be grateful
Lucy xx
