Such a lot has happened since my last blog. The other tests were all clear so we are only dealing with my boob and lymph glands. The consultant did mention that they might do a full lymph node clearance at op time but I suppose we will see how much things have shrunk with the chemo. I got the choice of hospitals for where to get my chemo and went with a tip from one of the nurses who said the chemo unit at St J's was a wee bit comfier. One of the BCNs from there was at the main hospital that day and had a good chat with her and they squeezed me in for a start-up appt the next day. So hubby and I got the tour.
Went in to work the next day, first time in over a week, and it all felt so surreal. I'd had to tell some of my close colleagues and they were all lovely. Had left a card and some chocolate for me. I attended a ceremony for my long-service award - 15 years - at the festive reception. I'm normally cynical about these sorts of things but missed my 10 year one, and it was really lovely actually. Turns out that was my last day in work. I got told the next day, Friday, that my chemo started the following Wednesday (20th Dec). Oh, shit. Such a lot to organise. So I was faced with going down to tell my mum and big sis a bit earlier than expected, just so I didn't see them when I was looking and feeling ropey and perhaps bald. Mum was OK on the surface. She then must have blabbed to my big sis when I was getting a cup of tea because she then had a strange, pitying look on her face but was babbling about other stuff. Anyway, we got it all out of the way. My nephew offered me his wig he had bought for Halloween, which was nice of him.
Cue lots of arranging appointments on the Mon and Tues before Chemo Day. Monday: pre-chemo at the hospital, flu jab at docs, dentist check-up. Tuesday: wig appointment, MRI boob scan. The wigs were much nicer than I expected. The lady in the salon was lovely and they let me order a few to try nearer my colour. By the time I trooped up to the hospital for the MRI - I'd had to go to both of these on my own as hubby and sis couldn't get the time off - I was a bit teary. You need moral support - end of. I know I am mildly claustrophobic but it hasn't come up that often that I am in a confined space. Then suddenly you are kneeling on a narrow bed thing, dangling your boobs into 2 holes and looking at the tube they are about to send you into. And you have to stay rock still for 25 minutes!! Take the ear plugs, take the headphones playing Abba - it is loud in there. I did my visualisation trick that I use for the dentist of imagining myself on a Caribbean beach, sipping a cocktail, dawdling down for paddle in the azure sea. That worked for a bit. Then I had to switch to cuddling my cat. That helped a lot. Thank god she said I had done well when I came out as I didn't want to have to repeat the experience any time soon. That over, I went to Morrisons to finish some Christmas shopping.
Chemo day. Was pretty nervous as I didn't know what to expect. There were about 6 chairs in the room with others getting treatment. The nurse was lovely and took us through every step. All went OK. No sickness. My great massive sticky-up veins on the backs of my hands are useful for something, it turns out. I like the fact that the hospital has a complementary therapist who comes round and offered massage etc to those getting the chemo. We were in for just over an hour. Felt OK as I left and most of the day but a bit sicky in the evening. Went to bed early and slept pretty well. Took some anti-sickness meds around 5.30 and the steroids at 8 and felt well most of the day. Now on day 2 post-chemo and meds seem to be doing their job. Slightly queasy at times but trying to drink plenty as directed - harder than it seems - and eat little and often. Managed school run and to cook son's tea - which were my main aims! Even wrapped some pressies. Think I'll have to resort to the constipation medication shortly. Oh, and my period arrived on chemo day. Probably my last one :-( Just crossing my fingers that I don't feel crap on Christmas Day with an excited 11-year old opening his pressies. I can take or leave the Xmas dinner as long as I'm not cooking it!
xxx
