Treatments # 20,21,22,23,24
I have been avoiding this blog for a few days now, as I'm struggling to put a positive spin on the way the treatment is affecting me. I have gone from optimistic and enthusiastic to grumpy, pained, and dreading the rest of the course.
My clinic appointment last week showed a tiny loss in weight, but not so drastic as to get the dietician involved. I still have yet to try the ramped up morphine painkiller, as paracetamol is just about enough to cut it at the moment, along with regular swallows of oxetacaine.
My throat and mouth began to deteriorate shortly thereafter, to the point where swallowing became painful. It is only because I have not had any treatment this weekend gone that I am now ambitious enough to try food that isn't entirely smooth.
I have been living off Ready Brek, custard, rice pudding (whizzed up), and soup. Eating food has become a little like taking medicine, and my appetite has dropped away to the point I have to remind myself to eat something. Tea is still my mainstay drink, although along with water, no longer tastes the same as it did.
My skin has taken until the fifth week of treatment to break down, but it is doing so now with some momentum. I am creaming up 3-4 times a day.
The single positive I can document is simply that the countdown of treatments continues to diminish, and after today, I will only have a further 5 sessions.
The building project has gone on the back boiler, partly due to inconsistent weather, but mostly because I don't have the energy to get involved for any length of time, so it remains 3-cornered and two walled single brick until I can summon the will to progress it.
Deep breath, here we go again....
