I didnt really explain why 'Justin'. 'It' - the tumor, had to be given an identity - i had to make it real and easier to talk about - i can talk about Justin in public, using the C word makes peoples toes curl, the mood changes the sympathy pours and i dont want sympathy - i want to be treated like me, i understand that i will need help, but practical help, i dont want my friends and family being sad because this makes me sad. If i need to talk ill find a professional, or chat to those that know. This sounds harsh i think but im a practical person - this just needs to be done and whatever the outcome - its what will be.
Anyhow - back to the demise of Justin... round one ding ding, as my late uncle Jim would say let battle commence...
Friday 1300 was the appointment time, FEC on the menu - not helpful that they were running 2 hours late - did not help the nerves... but finally in, the beautiful pink riding hat cold cap was interesting - not convinced its going to work as doesnt fit very well - losing my hair is not a biggy for me - more an excuse for fabulous eye make up and funky hats.
The chemo itself passed easily enough - a dash for the pharmacy for half a zillion boxes of drugs was made by my lovely boyfriend before it shut - cos we were so late! Got to make himself useful!!! And then home to await the referees score.
5 hours in and the chemo shows its hand - lots of almost sickness, threatening, demanding attention, preventing much needed sleep, 7 hours later all has subsided and just a niggling nausea remains - many small battles make up a war - first battle won.
Day 2 - after taking the mornings anti sickness pills, feeling pretty normal - after being on a carb free diet for several months the marmite on toast tasted glorious - plus side no.1 - whole day sailed by (and as someone who suffers sea sickness sailing by was good!) The chemo decided to have another go at teatime, nausea kicked in again but beaten back by the afternoon drugs all good until 10pm when the cheeks lit up - on fire!!! Affects of one of the drugs... chemo having another pop using my defences against me.
Day 3 - cheeks still on fire, teeth aching (cause or affect of the hot cheeks?!?) General temp is still good so localised heat affect (relief) teeth calm down after some salt water swilling (note to self - salt water does nof help when nauseous!) As i write at almost 3pm cheeks are feeling almost normal - battle 2 - status - winning but battle not yet over.
CT scan tomorrow - another new experience
Justin status - still there, not shrunk yet, bit optimistic that i know, but at some point l WILL start winning the war, just got to get through the battles
