I finished chemotherapy in March and completed Radiotherapy in June. Since then, I have had more time on my hands than I knew what to do with. This is when the reality and enormity of the journey I had just been through, hit me.
My life up until now, had consisted of hospital appointments, treatment and being hospitalised due to infections. Having time on my hands, I thought was going to be bliss, I'd relax and recouperate and be back to 'the old me' in no time.
I couldn't have been more wrong. Anxiety began to set in. Thoughts and questions started to build up in my head about what I had been through and what the future held for me. Would the cancer come back? If so, would I find it in time? Will my hair grow back?
I began focussing more on the effects the treatment had on me. Losing my hair did not bother me during treatment, but now, it was an issue. I felt less feminine and more masculine. My nails were badly damaged. I am so fatigued, I could literally sleep all day. I have aches & pains all over my body. I am still having Herceptin injections, so this is likely to continue. I have also gained a lot of weight due to being inactive for so long and having steroids as part of my treatment.
I feel less feminine and older as each day passes. Apparently, this is normal!
As a result of how bad and low I feel, I have decided to change my diet, address the lack of exercise, seek out positive changes to my lifestyle and try hollistic therapies. So far I am looking into healthier eating options & lowering my sugar intake. I have started drinking more water. Enrolled on a Macmillan 'Move More' exercise programme. Started having Reiki & Reflexology treatments and even enrolled on a Reiki Level One course, hoping that all of these combined will help me feel less tired, more energised, positive & focussed.
When my doctor told me this was going to be a long journey, I thought they were Just referring to the treatment aspect. Nope, there is still a long road ahead of me. I've come this far, surely I can get through this next part of the journey??
