It's all kicking off now.
I was "happily" chugging along in my wee chemo bubble, enjoying the fact my swallowing has improved, trying not to worry about the nagging "full" feeling in my shoulder, the lymph nodes in my neck that didn't light up on the pet but have shrunk a little during chemo, the intermittent pain under my right ribs, the cough I've developed (I mean they can't all be cancer right?), when a metaphorical thud on the doormat (I don't have a doormat and I wasn't home when the letter arrived) zapped me back into the real world. The appointments for my - hopefully - post chemo scans have started arriving.
So I'm into Glasgow Royal for an endoscopic ultrasound, thankfully with sedation, on Thursday; the beatson for my final of this round chemo infusion on Friday; and then the 22nd sees me have my third ct scan in 18 months. Just the pet date to wait for now. How bloody exciting.
Really glad I had such a normal weekend now, first properly normal weekend in more or less living memory. Took my eldest (he's 4) to the football to watch 50 minutes of Motherwell being cuffed by Hearts (well I watched 50 minutes, he ate chocolate and asked question after question much to the annoyance of the teenage girls in front of us.) He's too young to be interested, but in true loving father to son fashion I need to start the indoctrination early... Made all the more urgent by the cancer that is (was?) growing inside me. If I'm not going to be here the one bloody thing that I'm going to make sure I do is make a motherwell fan (or more importantly NOT a Rangers or Celtic fan) of him.
Then I had my mates round for a poker night and I actually had a few beers. Whoa there mad dog. Ten pounds up for the night too. Every cloud etc.
Anyway, tomorrow sees me heading to the hospital to check that the poison has poisoned me not quite enough to mean I can't get even more poison on Friday (right in the veins!). I know it's not healthy to think about chemo as poison (its my best hope!) but let's call a shovel a shovel. Anything that makes me feel as bloody crap for 5 days as this does is surely having some serious words with this invader in my oesophagus.
I've sat here typing this while my son fell asleep. There's nothing on earth more innocent or beautiful than your own child's sleeping face. Best go and spend some time with the other half.
