Waiting is so very hard
At this stage i spend my days convinced i have cancer everywhere and the age / unfitness niggles i had been feeling was my body being consumed, this really can play with your mind, especially with lack of sleep.
After the initial shock of being diagnosed with cancer, come the tests, within a couple of days i had an appointment for a CT scan and an MRI, the speed of these appointments took me a little by surprise but thats a good thing, the day after my diagnosis i received a call, with an appointment the next day for an MRI of my breasts. So next morning off we go, feeling really aprehensive but also with a stange feeling of calm, we arrive early at the hospital and thankfully we are the second appointment, not much wating. i am given a gown, some tape and some cod liver oil tablets to pop on my nipples, giggling at the thought and wondering why i do as i am told like a good girl, the nurse is lovely and she tells me she knows what i am going through as she smooths her hand over her chest and indicates she has had a double mastectomy, I guess the cod liver oil is to show where the nipples are on the scan. I have a canula popped into my hand a this is more scary to me that the thought of the MRI, It.s but the tests i find hard is what they show!. I am taken to the scan suite, popped face down on the bed with the girls dangling into holes in the mattress, very flattering! lol, the scan takes about 20 mins, it cold noisy and not the most comfy but that all good as i remind myself how fortunate i am to be seen so soon. I go in feet first so done feel claustraphobic, its all good. one scan without contast dye, and then they push some contact dye through the canuala and scanned again, when i am done and dusted i was helped up and that was it, back to work with a smile.
A few days later i get a call for a CT scan the following monday, the weekend comes and goes, trying to concentrate on other things, Monday come and back to the hospital we go, again i have a canuala inserted, this time there is a little wait for the CT, i had, had a little panic that i was being seen in the evening but the nurse explained it was a routine evening clinic due to demand. the CT maching was a little like the MRI but this time i was laying back and the scan was off by body, neck to groin. this took about 10 mins.
Next appointment was to meet the Oncologist, this was at a different hospital, and she was about 45 mins behind, but its all good, Finally we get called in and The Dr is very personalble and explains that she did not see anything on the MRI or CT to indicate involment with the Lymph nodes, or signs of spread, Although my Tumor has been stated as GRADE 3 of 3, she said she believed i had caught it early and estimated it at stage 1-2. Relief that moment washed over me like a wave and seeing Steve smile at this was heart melting. She went over the treatment plan, and explained that for the best outcome she recommends 2 types of Chemotherapy, a Lumpectomy and Radiotherapy, now this sounds like lot, and she says that there is a hard year ahead of me, The Chemo is to shrink the Tumor and she estimated in 60 % cases, the tumor sort of disappears, but they still remove the tissue and then the Radiotherapy is to ensure any remaining cells are killed off to reduce the chances of it returning. I could go for the Lumpectomy first but they can not be sure if leaving cells behind and they get the best outcomes with the plan she recommends, so after going over the big list of side effects and all the scary stuff i sign the paperwork and she has a feel of the old ladies. She wants me to start treament within 2 weeks.
