hi every one back again.the last few weeks have been very hard. i ended up in hospital again after my last chemo even though i had five days of the injections my white cell count dropped & i was neutropenic again so five days in hospital on iv antibiotics. i think stress is causing my white cells to drop so much as my life is very stressfull & there is little time to rest .even though i do try there is always some problem or other to sort out.my sister walked out of rehab last week after doing four months she is now back on the booze & causing utter mayhem. the other day i really wanted to run away just to get some rest from every thing but thats never been a thing i do plus i would have only have been leaving my family to deal with it on there own.i feel so tired all the time now & i am getty ratty again with everyone for the slightest thing . i start my weekly chemo on the 16th & i am dreading it i know the taxol is not as strong as the ec but its still a powerful drug . i think i have reached the point in my cancer treatment that we must all go through & that is i am fed up with being theresa with cancer i want my old life back now i know thats inposible at the moment & my treatment is so important to giving me the chance of getting my life back on track its just a hard slog at this time.i am so angry with my sister if some one offered me the chance to go away for a cure i would embrace it with every thing i had & i am sure everyone on site would do the same she has thrown away the chance now of getting her children back . they are happy with me & have fitted into my family but it must be so hard for them to understand whats going on. thankyou all for listening to my rant hope every one is ok with love n hugs theresa [treeze] xxxxxx
FormerMember
hi everyone thank you for your replys to my blog.the social workers have already decieded back in july that i couldnt have the children in my name because of the cancer they couldnt be sure of my life expectancy [nice] so my eldest daughter anne-marie stepped in & we changed the order to her name though in their wisdom the social workers said it was ok for them all to still live with me as it had worked well up untill my diagnosis so i have the kids in every way but name the law dosnt make sense does it. my daughter is good though but she is 27 unmarried & has no children of her own so its hard for her to sundenly be the carer of two children aged 12yrs & 8yrs the children still regard me as their carer we have very little support from social services at the moment i couldnt name the social worker because this is the third one in as many months & we have only seen her once.once all my treatment is finished & i am hopefully given the all clear i will take the chilren back in my name if my sister is not sorted out by then [which at the moment i doubt]. i am still fed up with being ill its seems so long now & i have still got a few more months to do on chemo then radio the my recon it can be very over welming when you sit & think of it. i am hoping to have an easier time with this chemo because the strength is not as high it would be nice to just feel normal again without the fatigue we feel due to our treatments . thank you all again for your advice & support at this hard time god bless you all with love n hugs theresa xxxxx[treeze] xxx
