hi every one back again.the last few weeks have been very hard. i ended up in hospital again after my last chemo even though i had five days of the injections my white cell count dropped & i was neutropenic again so five days in hospital on iv antibiotics. i think stress is causing my white cells to drop so much as my life is very stressfull & there is little time to rest .even though i do try there is always some problem or other to sort out.my sister walked out of rehab last week after doing four months she is now back on the booze & causing utter mayhem. the other day i really wanted to run away just to get some rest from every thing but thats never been a thing i do plus i would have only have been leaving my family to deal with it on there own.i feel so tired all the time now & i am getty ratty again with everyone for the slightest thing . i start my weekly chemo on the 16th & i am dreading it i know the taxol is not as strong as the ec but its still a powerful drug . i think i have reached the point in my cancer treatment that we must all go through & that is i am fed up with being theresa with cancer i want my old life back now i know thats inposible at the moment & my treatment is so important to giving me the chance of getting my life back on track its just a hard slog at this time.i am so angry with my sister if some one offered me the chance to go away for a cure i would embrace it with every thing i had & i am sure everyone on site would do the same she has thrown away the chance now of getting her children back . they are happy with me & have fitted into my family but it must be so hard for them to understand whats going on. thankyou all for listening to my rant hope every one is ok with love n hugs theresa [treeze] xxxxxx
FormerMember
Rant Away Theresa! Rant Away, you are entitled. I like the word "Ratty", that's a new one. I'm American so I'm learning all kinds of new and interesting colloquialisms in the UK on this site. I'm a caregiver, and I will tell you that my husband feels much the same as you described. He just wants his life back. He is so sick of being sick and he can be pretty "ratty" too, as you say. But we take every positive improvement no matter how small, as a victory and step toward him getting his life back. Hang in. My thoughts are with you through your next round. Best, Lori
my neice and I both have cancer though paddling different canoes! we care for each other when were up to it. maria is post op and post chemo and rad and not well at the moment. I'm pre op etc. Yes it's good to have a rant or a cry at times. Best wishes to your hubby and you. and hope you feel better soon Theresa
Hi Treeze,I am sorry to read of your new visit to hospital and your frustrations of not having your `old` life back.It will come back sooner than you think and you will again be in control of yourself and start to do the things you enjoy,namely looking after your wonderful family. But for now you have got to learn to be looked after andlet others do their share of caring and doing things for you.(one of the hardest things I had to accept).They need to do that too because it helps them.I am sorry too that your sister has relapsed yet again.It must be very hard for her children and of course for you and I applaud you in caring for them and welcoming them into your family, I am sure they will be a credit to your love and strength for them. I hope the chemo goes well for you.Lesleyxxxx
Just getting to know this site so sent a message to Lori and hubby as well as you theresa, sorry for any confusion. sendin g positive thoughts and a big hug to you all
Just getting to know this site so sent a message to Lori and hubby as well as you theresa, sorry for any confusion. sendin g positive thoughts and a big hug to you all
