The day after my 51st birthday (last friday) was the day that I found my lump.
I'm not a stranger to lumps: many years ago I had two benign marbles removed, but this time, this lump seems so very different and scarey - it's flat, it's hidden, it's near my nipple, it's in the inside lower quadrangle of my breast and it's a wonder I found it at all. When I'm sitting I can't feel it/when I'm lying down I can, sort of thing.
I dithered about going to my GP because (a) it didn't feel like my original ones and I hate making mountains out of molehills, and (b) I was scared because this was about the same age that my mother was diagnosed with BC; anyway I did eventually go - on Thursday. My conversation began with..'can you check me out because I don't know if this is a lump or not'. Never felt so stupid in my life. I mean - I'm 51. I should know my body by now.
Upshot is: yes. It is a lump. And no. They don't all feel like peas or marbles.
Yes, the doctor said, but I can't figure out whether it is attached to the muscle at the back (?). Mmmm, she said, I think it needs to be looked at. Where do you want to go? Do you have private healthcare, in which case you could go here.. (I do but didn't)...
Went home and told my eldest (21) to expect a referral letter but to hide it from the youngest who is sitting midterm exams in three weeks (the subtufugue of being a single mum). So, basically I've worried one child at the expense of another...grrr. I couldn't figure how else to get around it.
Friday: a letter in the post from the Marsden with my appointment for the 29th! Amazing! The speed of response is outstanding! But now I'm even more nervous- I mean: is it bacause there's a sudden availability of appointments (in which case: yeay! Less people have found lumps recently, or is it something more sinister: I can't win against this cynical brain of mine. (I was at home when the letter arrived so needn't have worried my daughter at all....grrr).
Insurance: I think I will wait for the outcome of the 29th because I can't afford the excess charge at the mo! Besides the one stop clinic is amazing and I'm a firm believer that the NHS delivers the best treatment because they see the greatest amount of cases and therefore, have the greatest evidence based knowledge. I understand you can pick and chose how to use it to your advantage eg. Speeding up tests.
Going to the gym now to pump up the endorphins.
Fed up and nervous of Fulham.
FormerMember
I was diagnosed on Wenesday with BC, I Know nothing about it but will learn as I go along, I was a bit shell shocked and was unable to ask any questions that would have made any sense.It has all been very quick for which I am grateful. I am NHS with no other options.I wish you luck with your treatment.
Thanks Chrissietel. I'm really sorry to hear your news. You've taught me something already; need to ask questions, I knew my blog would be useful to me. I will write some down just in case tho fingers are tightly tightly crossed.
I seem to remember that my mother set up a note book that had every visit, Q&A and conversation written in it - I think my father was in charge of writing during meetings, but it meant she could read it later when she was less frazzled.
Take care
A
Having just commented on your other blog, I thought I'd better go and see what you were nervous about!
They have a protocol these days that you should be seen in a certain number of days. It scared the hell out of me when I saw the words urgent on the form, but its just what they do.
IF and I am saying IF it is anything that needs treatment, then Mac do a really good organiser that has spaces for questions and what to ask and appointments and all that stuff. Look at the comminity blogs and see it there. You can order one too. I liked to go on my own to appointments, but I always took a notebook and wrote down what he was saying so I would remember later.
