I was diagnosed with stage 1 womb cancer 3 years ago. I had a radical hysterectomy but was very fortunate as i did not need to have either radio or chemotherapy. However i did not have any children at the time and have struggled with this ever since. I have moved on with life as much as i can, i have been promoted in work, carried on being an aunty to 1 beautiful niece and 2 handsomemy nephews and they mean everything to me. i have a huge support network of caring and loving family and friends. I enjoy my holidays, eating out socialising etc, but everyday when i waken up i have a sick feeling , a huge feeling of emptyness. - Am i alone with these thoughts and feeling??
I should be celebrating life but i feel that i am in a quick sand senario that i cant get out of.
I have been on anti-depressants but moved off them within 6 months , i attended the Maggie Centre for support but i cant shake this feeling. i thought that the passing of time may ease things but in all honesty i feel its getting worse.
FormerMember
I cant imagine how you must be feeling ..but just wanted to offer my support..
Consider the postive , you are blessed with gorgeous nieces and nephews and wonderful family ...
I have been depressed and it is so hard to lift yourself out of it .. do things that make you happy , keep yourself busy ...the pain inside will ease ....
I am so sorry to hear how desperately sad you are feeling (a great understatement I fear). To have children is one of life's blessings that is true. But you have the best blessing of all. The gift of life. It is no consolation for anyone to tell you that at least you have nieces and nephews. But if that is what you have then be the best auntie you can to them. I also realise that other options may be denied to you because of your cancer diagnosis so I will not even enter that arena. All I can do is offer my best wishes to you and hope that your feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and despair soon lift. Take care love and enjoy life as much as you can x x x
When we were told 10 years ago that we would never have children I was devastated. I felt that my reason for living had come to an end. To me it is the most natural thing in the world to have children as the whole point of nature is to reproduce and carry on the population. I was angry with everyone because they all had their children so how dare they sympathise! I was angry with my doctor because she told me that one day I would be thankful I didn't have them cos they ruin your body! I was told all sorts of rubbish from people who 'couldn't understand' I went on a website once for people who were infertile and remember reading a blog from somebody who said she had accepted now that she would never have children and she had moved on. I was angry with her too!!!! But the truth is, you DO move on and you DO learn to accept and find things to fill the gaps. At the moment it is so raw to you that you won't be able to imagine this ever happening, and you will probably be angry with me as I was with that other person! Just because I accept it doesn't mean that I like the situation any better. it just means that other things have become important in my life. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk.
Take care xx
PS what Dev has said above is so true. Dev, everytime you say something you make me cry because you always seem to find a gentle way of saying the right thing xx
and tantan. Specifically tantan because she has so clearly been where you are and I always feel that those who have 'been there' have that extra dimension of pretty well understanding where another is coming from.
So tantan I thought your reply was superbly and sensitively written and tinkerbell I hope that you will, with the passage of time, arrive at the same place emotionally.
It's been my experience that time doesn't heal (I lost a child from cot death at 3 months of age) but it takes off the rough and cruel edges and one is able to carry on with what life has dished up to you.
