My older blog posts seem to have vanished in the changes, oh well.
I'm now in the 'watch and wait' stage of my journey. The treatment has finished but I have the routine of scans and follow up every three months for the next however long so it's not really over yet.
It's kind of hard. I don't want to obsess over having cancer and I can see people's eye glazing over if I mention it, but it's still such a huge thing in my life. I feel like I can't make plans too far ahead because I don't know how things are going to be. I feel like my life is in limbo.
On the one hand I am feeling really lucky that things seem to have gone well, and on the other every ache and pain is a worry that there is more cancer that hasn't been found yet. I have another hospital visit next week and CT scan and MRI in a few weeks and however hard I try to just keep on keeping on I can't help but realise they wouldn't waste money on all these scans unless they thought they might find something.
It makes you appreciate things more - I don't have time to waste on stupid arguments and putting things off, I want to be living while I can. It's not just me it's changed either - both of my kids are going to be running the Edinburgh Marathon next year in aid of Macmillan because of what we've all been through this year. They make me feel so proud.
