Today was ok, I still cried a couple of times but compared to sat/sun it was a lot easier. My eyelids were so swollen, I was actually quite shocked at how terrible I looked. That is how I must have looked like before but luckily I couldn't be bothered/didn't have the energy to look in the mirror.
I have been reading lots of books on bereavement and some have been fairly useful, but today I started to read a book recommended by a fellow bereaved person in my group, this book is very, very good. I will buy one for my dad too. I want to leave it out for when my MIL comes to visit, considering she thought that by Christmas (6 weeks after losing my mum) I should be feeling better.
I will never underestimate the power of the 11th of the month on me again, I think that date is going to affect me for a long time.
I have another funeral to go to tomorrow, the same crematorium, my aunt (dad's side), who died of old age, is having the same hymn and the same poem that we had for my mum, so that could be tough. Bless her she had arranged the whole thing herself before she became too frail, but having no family left the rest to my dad...poor man...
I will be by his side though.
