Yesterday was the one day in my life i never thought that would happen- the day you are told you have a cancerous tumour- it's so true you never think that its ever going to be you. I have been having severe abnormal bleeding for a few weeks now and i took it to be down to the fact that i had the contaceptive implant placed just days before this bleeding started. I examined myself and i found what i would say is golf ball to tennis ball sized lump like you know when you blow a bubble and other bubbles form on top of it thats how it feltto me i was scared.
I have 4 children and a wonderful husband and i felt sick to the stomach how could this happen to me?? The hardested part of the whole day was needing to tell those ones closest to you just seeing them crumble brought tears to my eyes how can i be strong when i know i need to be strong for others. I am a sttrong person and i have been to hell and back over the years and came across so many hurdles this my largest so far and i am determined to find away. i need to i must!!
I see the specialist today to get all the tests done i am scared beyond belive. But i know today will juust be as hard physically and emotionally as yesterday and the next will be harder. I need to find my strength the one that will keep me going and i know one day it will come in the mean time it needs to sink in.
I have been up all night cant sleep reaserching on the internet all the different things that i can face getting my questions ready for today.I'll let you know how i get on when i return.Sarah x x x
FormerMember
Hi Sarah
You never forget the day you are told you have cancer. As you say, you never think it's going to happen to you and even when you are told, it seems they are talking about someone else. You've come to the right place. The lovely people on here will help you through this journey. You will find support, advice and friendship in abundance., even a bit of humour. They have certainly helped me.
I wish you all the luck in the world for your appointment today. Please let us know how you have got on.
Next month will be the 1st year anniversary of a big seizure that lead to my brain tumour being discovered.....still can't believe its real, except when I look in the mirror and see my half baldy head. Or touch my forehead and feel the bolt which isn't visible to the naked eye but easily felt!
I researched like mad at the beginning and scared myself stupid - and eventually stopped. There's no point telling people not to do internet research, I think most of us do, its just you can't guarantee the quality of the information and in my case, I wasn't seeing the answers I wanted!
You have a great frame of mind considering whats happening, you will have good days and bad, strong days and days you just want to stop the world and get off.
Throughout those days, you can come here and laugh, cry, shout and even use us to sound off at, your army of "cyber supporters".....you'll make lots of friends on here and no doubt find a few kindred souls with the same cancer.
Good luck with your appointment and the rest of your journey.
I too felt like that, absolute panic and terrified of having major surgery to remove part of my bowel and the cancer. Was convinced I would not survive the operation itself, I was in a right state. That was 5 weeks ago and yes I survived it! Due to start 6 months chemotherapy on 12th November and panic stricken again. But the strength I got from surviving the operation will, hopefully inspire me to cope somehow with chemo. I do hope so. This site is very helpful do let us know how you get on.
You go day by day and step by step, you cry and scream, you ride the emotional rollacoaster and you find strength you never knew you had and you fight and we will be there doing all this with you....love carol x
