How did you tell your children?

I Sarah................I was given a booklet by my specialist nurse on how to tell children, it was so I could explain to my grand kids what was happening to me, so ask at the hospital, it is for parents with cancer but I suggest you wait for your results my love and take it from there, sorry love I see that is what you intend to do. Hope all goes well for you. Take care...love carol xx

Hi Sarah,

My offspring are much older and left home quite a few years ago so telling them was difficult but only as difficult as telling any family or friends.

However, my Dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer when I was just 12 years old and was told almost nothing and his death just a few months later (this was over 40 years ago and prognosis have improved greatly since then) was a massive surprise to me. Indeed I felt guilty for not spending more time with him.

I have no idea how you tell little ones but I just think that, somehow, you will have to. I'm sure you will get many great suggestions on here but however you do it, good luck.

love n hugs

Andrew xx

Helo Sarah

Although much older than you I was faced with the same problem.I have breast cancer and am the main carer for my grandson age 5.I agree with Carol wait untill your results before telling your children also about the booklets from the hospitial . I was given 2booklets about talking to your children they both surgested being honest, telling them you are unwell but not going into too much detail,just answering any questions they may have.So do ask if your results are not as you would hope for.

best wishes

Helen

So sorry you and your children need to go through this.  Our grandchildren are the same ages as your two eldest.  Children do quickly sense when something is wrong.  Sadly my husband is terminal, the children have so far only been told that granddad was ill - they could see that he was getting more breathless for themselves, and that the doctors have taken the fluid from his lung to help him breathe, and then given him strong medicine to take away the nasty cells.  This seems to be enough for them at the moment.  They can see that granddad is well at present, but occaisionally they do ask him if the cancer has gone now.  We tell them that the cancer has gone away (he is in remission) and they are happy with that.  Their mother has also had great support from her friends, and if they hear any discussions between their children and our grandchildren, they can deal with any problems.  From our experience, children worry alot less when they know what is happening.  For now, I would suggest you any answer questions, or try and check that they are not worried about you.  When you have a better idea of your treatment plan,  you can give them as much information as they need, and answer further questions.. I hope you will soon have your results, and know what treatment is planned.  

Love to you and the family

Daffie

Hi Sarah

I have 2 boys aged 7 and 8 and was diagnosed on 15th October.  My husband and I told them when we were all sat around chatting, Ian just dropped it into the conversation that mummy had been to the drs and that they had found a lump that needed to be taken away.  We did tell them that it was cancer but that it would be taken away.  We did have the book from the hospital called "Mummys lump" but thought it went into too much detail too soon.  Our concern about not telling them was that they do listen in to adult conversation and may think it is much worse and then become too scared to ask.   Our boys are OK and have asked a couple of questions but have just gone on with their daily activities as normal.  I have also told school in case their behaviour at school changes etc..

Hope this helps.

Take care

Love

Jayne

x