How did you tell your children?

Hi Sarah,

I have 2 girls 15 and 16 and have been totally honest with both of them and updated them after each consultation. I also have a 3 yr old son but all he knows is that mummy had a hurt (after lumpectomy and node clearance) and couldnt pick him up, he saw the scars the other day and just looked and said I needed to go to the doctor and as far as I am concerned thats all he needs to know and like Jayne I have informed the school and nursery jusr so they can monitor things and let me know of any concerns trhey may have. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you dont need to tell them.

take care love Terri xxx

Try this web site other parents have used their books with success, good luck

john

www.clicsargent.org.uk/Home

hi there,im so sorry to hear of your diagnosis,such a shock to deal with yourself never mind having to share the news with other loved ones as well. I found my local Maggies centre a great help with booklets,ect and my wee one who is ten is going to their kids day on sat which is held once a month where a group of kids affected by cance rmeet up for a chat,tour round the hospital and do some art therapy,then the parents are invited in at the end to see how things are going from the specialists point of view and if they feel your child needs help they can arrange that too. Its well worth looking into,and hopefully you too have a local maggies centre.

Good luck

Leigh

P.S, just be as honest and open as you can be without scaring them,it helps (my kids were 2,6 and 10 when i first fell ill)

Hi Sarah

So sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis. Like many on this site, I was very upfront with my kids (9 year old twins). They happened to be with me whenI had to go back to the hospital for my biopsy results. They waited in the waiting room and knew I was getting some 'test results'. When I came  out, they asked me how the 'tests' went. I replied "I've got cancer". That was it. They put their arms around me and gave me a cuddle.

Since then it's been a subject that is always 'allowed'. We talk about it at home. They talk about it at school. No restrictions. I think they find this very cathartic. I have also involved them in things like choosing head scarves and looking at wigs etc. They even came to the hairdresser with me today to get all my long hair cut short.

I have always found that being very 'matter of fact' with kids, is always best. It won't scare them and they don't know any different so they will 'take it in their stride'.

Good luck hun and let us know how it all goes.

Monna xx

Hi Sarah,

I'm sorry that you are in this situation.  I was my grandads main carer since 2002.  He had a pre leukemia condition called myelodysplasia.  I have 2 girls aged 9 and 7.  When they were not at school they were with me taking grandad to  hospital appoinments and for his regular blood tests and tranfussions.  They met everyone who were involved in looking after my grandad. They saw everything and they were good little carers.  

My eldest asked my to explain what luekaemia is.   For my youngest thats all she knew.  my eldest asked the most questions and i always gave an honest but simplied answer.  They took everything in their stride.  His condition progressed in july 09 to acute myeloid luekemia.  

Even when grandad was really unwell there was never a point where i was untruthful with them.  we had conversations about the fact that grandad was really unwell there was no need to be afraid because he lost so much weight.  they wanted to help me put clean pjs on him. they asked him if he wanted his special drinks.

My girls saw from beginning to end and i think i did the right thing because especially my eldest she is at an age where she could have resented my for not being truthful with her.  Like you said your 8 year old knows something.

I think once you get you results and you get a better idea whats going on, then you should use simplified truth and any questions you try to answer truthfully.  I was asked lots of quetsions so if i can help you in anyway please don't hesitate to ask me.

Unfortunately my grandad lost his battle 26th Sept 2009.

Take care and good luck with your results

Reneesha xx