So this is life going back to normal.

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

8 May 2012

this week marks three weeks since diagnosis, and everything seems to be slowly going back to 'normal'

Myself, my brother and my mum are all back to work, and the sense of 'ultimate urgency' that he last few days and weeks suffered has subsided.

Dad has his first appointment with the renal consultant next week to discuss his treatment, which is fantastic.

Is it bad that I don't want to know any of the results?
Like, I feel that if I know what is coming in concrete I'll lose what is left of dad and just see him as a a patient in a bed awaiting all the prodding and probing.

That aside, I've lost a friendship because of all of this, which completely blind sided me.
my faith in letting people in to my emotional bubble is at an all time low.

Soon things will be okay, they have to be...

_____

I turn 25 soon and I promised dad I'd take him paint balling, hopefully he'll be up to take a butt kicking from me :)

Hope everyone out there is having a good day, and even if you're not try to see the gold in everything :)

FormerMember over 12 years ago

Hi Graham,

Sadly life never quite returns to normal after a diagnosis....

What I found was that with each appointment, each result, each new symptom, change of life etc. you adapt and you accept it - because you have no choice. My point being when things are set out, his palliative treatment plan is agreed, you WILL accept it and that will then become 'normal' it's amazing how we adapt to things as they change. Normal just keeps changing.

I hope your dad manages to go paint balling, maybe organise that sooner rather than later for maximum enjoyment :)
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Hi Graham

Sorry to hear what you & your family have been going through.

I agree with mollyb. I don't think life does go back to 'normal.' It takes time to get over the shock and the numbness, but gradually, it seems you come to some sort of terms with what you are dealt and a new kind of 'normality' kicks in. And yes, you do come to sort of accept and get on with things on a different level.

Really sorry to hear about the loss of a friendship. Many of us on this site will understand. But I have found that people you never imagined could be friends come up trumps. My family has been bowled over by the kindness & willingness to help of folks we don't know that well. And not all your good friends will let you down you know. I get really red-faced angry about stupid comments made by people I think should know better. But that's the problem. Folks don't know how to behave and they can't know how we feel if they haven't had our kind of experiences.

Give yourself time. Be gentle with yourself and make time for you. You will find the most amazing depth of understanding on this site. Don't be afraid to tell us how you feel. There is always someone here who can help. The kindness of strangers & all that. I can also recommend the Mac Helpline (number on the site). You can ring up and find all sorts of good listeners and advisers. You need to look after you, too.

Paint balling sounds good..........

Enormous hug,

Little Jen
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