I will start by saying i'm not good with words, so i'll just say this how I think/feel is right :)
So its been a week to the day since my father was diagnosed with stage four terminal kidney cancer, it has also spread to his lymph nodes.
This destroyed everything i knew about my world, my dad is my hero, he's trained elephants for travelling zoo's, lived in Singapore as a teenager,
he's survived tour's of duty in Ireland, Cyprus, and Iraq,
He's even driven trucks long distance across Europe and various other jobs and adventures.
He's seen and done things i can only dream of seeing and doing...
Hero worship and admiration doesn't even begin to cover what I feel for this man.
Just the tiniest thought of him dying shook me to my core, so many emotions and thoughts sped through my head.
Anger, sadness, disgust, horror, sheer disbelief....
I cried harder that night than I ever have before... I barely slept, I was physically sick and numb.
The following day after a transfer to another local hospital, we were given an ultimate truth and the the few options we had to begin with.
1) do nothing at all and face the possibility of just three weeks.
2) have his kidney removed and treat the rest of the cancer (which would yield the best results but a longer treatment period)
3) leave the kidney alone and treat the cancer as a whole (which would yield a lower result but act quicker)
He decided to have the infected kidney removed, and he starts treatment on the 14th
but since then he seems so much better, he's in a lot of pain but he's perked up so much, he is a lot happier and seems to be back to himself.
The amount of people who have offered help and support is overwhelming, my friends have been so helpful and understanding,
people from our family's past have appeared from nowhere to help, ex armed forces/truckers who my dad worked with 30 odd years ago appear our door to see him.
knowing that these people are out there, just blows my mind.
its still early days with it all, but i feel positive everything will be okay for the time being,
i have some anger issues i'm working out, because i cant carry on being this person whilst my dad is ill.
anyway, if you've read this thanks :D
Graham
x
