I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my left breast in march 23 I had a lumpectomy in may 23 but they found more cancer further round my breast so I had a mastectomy no reconstruction in July 23 I’m due back in 2 weeks as I’ve got an issue with symptoms in my right breast now so I could probably have it in there now but don’t know that yet
My husband has been amazing in caring for me supporting me and loving me unconditionally I couldn’t have got this far without him
my head is a mess I was masking all my feelings and thoughts over being diagnosed with breast cancer then the 2 operations but a few weeks ago it’s like a train has hit me and the emotions feelings anger has all come out
there are days where I’m in tears don’t know what to do or think I know this must be having an impact on my husband but he doesn’t show it I hide it from my boys they know mum is upset but they stay away and give me space
im so worried about losing my husband over this that I may become to much for him
i also worry constantly that someone will come along better looking and healthier and not a mess that will try and take my husband away from me
my husband tells me it’s irrational that he loves me unconditionally and will never leave me but that doesn’t seem to rid me of my worries
I have dreams when I manage to sleep of my immortality over cancer and him being with someone else
It seems no only did the cancer make me lose my breast it made me lose all self belief and worth
does anybody else feel like this ? Does it get better as right now I can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel
me and my husband have been married 19 years and I want nothing more that many many more years with him
