When Worlds Collide... GCs and MPs...

3 minute read time.

Hey I think this one might be really short (faint swooon) there's a novelty for you! This is about tomorrow really but first:

Today I blew my bag off!

Literally... too many beans and lentils and that and a stomach ache all week culminated in Little My just stepping out of the staffroom to go to her first lesson of the day when... grumble grumble parp! and she blew her bag off... !! diarrhoea and all ! It was quite spectacular and of course her sausages got so excited they popped out to have a look at the event too. (sorry if you were eating your dinner, but I was impressed i have to say... wow! Never knew you could do that... or ewwww depending if you are a scatophile or not)

Try explaining that to a class of 16 year olds who are wondering why you are late for their lesson....

Anyway, that was today.  Oh I forgot. Something else... I had a long talk with my boss about my idiot colleagues and he was talking about fighting and do we die fighting (big metaphor type stuff) and I said, well it might be a bit more literal in my case cos depending on how this cancer lark goes,  I may just die fighting (and not in the metaphorical sense) and if I do, then I want to make sure I am bothering to fight the right fight and not waste my time on rubbish and then I told him Hilary's spoon theory thingy and said that sitting in stupid meetings with those idiots cost me a spoon or two and was it worth it... ?and I was thinking what I could use that spoon for instead such as fighting a battle worthy of  a spoon...

Suffice to say... He got the message and something will be done about them  you will be glad to hear. ...

Now tomorrow... is surreal and a collision of worlds... I wrote something once before (as did sunny) about these other worlds we inhabit... the cancer 'patient' world and the other world of work and non cancer and all that and how we lead double lives sometimes and  tomorrow is a wonderful concatonation of events!

I go to the cancer hospital tomorrow for my check up with GC. (I am just a little nervous of course cos who wouldn't be when you go every 4 weeks to see if its growing or not...) I am hoping the will say all is ok and I get to stay away for longer than 4 weeks  at a time now.... and that they have written to the surgeon about the operation  cos I still haven't heard yet. But not too fussed as long as its not bad news cos seeing GC's shiny face is a bit of a treat on a dull day... just wish you didn't have to pay with blood.... hmmm anyway...  So I get up and go off on the long drive for blood tests and for GC to stick his finger up my arse and the ouch sorry conversation we always have and all that fun stuff.... Oh and the new thrill of will it be FC or GC ooooh! Place your bets...

Rolos at the ready either way...

And then I get in my car and drive straight to a posh  'do' where I have to make small talk with Estelle Morris (!) and other MPs and the Mayor and such people at a grand opening thing to do with our school. (Somewhere inbetween i have to get changed cos I don't really want to turn up to GC in a posh frock ha ha... or maybe i should... snigger snigger... Hiyaaaaah gorgeous...!!  what's that noise? Oh its GC running for his life.... )

If she asks me what I have been doing today... . I am soooo tempted to say Having a finger shoved up my arse to see if my tumour is growing again or not.

We got a list of things to don't say to dignitaries... there was no mention of arses and cancer on there........

If I have not been arrested, see you tomorrow night my dears

Weird day here we come... and there has to be a blog out of tomorrow eh?

Little Myx

ps certain friends of mine are having a jolly rotten time of it  so the gin is out today.... chin chin my dears....

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi LM

    Oh dear!  Exploding baggy and nosy sausages just before class!  That'll teach you to go steady on the lentils and beans and such stuff!!!!!

    I hope tomorrow goes absolutely beautifully for you and I think you should wear the posh frock to see GC and if you dare to, please sneak a pic of his lovely shiny face!!!!!!

    As for the nomark colleagues - I agree with Hilary on another use for spoons!!!!

    Loads of hugs and much love,

    Nin xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    ha ha yet again you make my eyes cry with laughter....

    Hope that tomorrow brings you smiles and polite conversation....no sausages or bag flashing!

    I will gift you a spoon or two as I will be having a quiet reflective day and look forwards to reading the next edition!

    Gin now there is another story!

    Love and hugs

    Amanda

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Well good luck tomorrow with GC or FC and .... well can anyone have good luck with MPs!

    The wolves are straining at the leash for the no-markers, just let me know. But if you want to use spoons in an unconventional way then have some of mine(I'll send the biggest ones). I think that Boss of yours needs some spoons as well to be fitted in the same manner as the no-markers.

    Lovely hugs to carry you through the day, annd some strong elastic to keep sausages under control,

    Odin xxx

    PS. Bonus marks and gold stars for using the cancer card with the Boss.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I have had exploding bags many times and they are not fun or funny unless you see the funny side of it! Now I seem to know when Tom-ass is going to disgrace himself although he has caught me out a few times and suddenly I "feel a smell" Tonight sat watching TV and he is put putting away like a little two stroke motorbike engineand I had to do an emergency bag change but did manage to make it to the end of whatever I was watching. My son Tim has returned home (after they all left I swore I would burn the house down before I let them back in) and he got on my weighbridge and is over twenty two stones which is two stones more than me at just over twenty stones which is not big and clever. Well it is big. I have had an arse kicking consultation with my GP who bollocked me in the nicest possible way, so me and the lad are going on one of them there weight reduction whatsits. A diet. Once upon a time I could lose weight just by eating porridge made with water but now a small bowl of porridge sends Tom-ass frantic - like a bag possessed. Can't understand it - full length of bowel and I got my arse on porcelain everyday without fail. Take a yeard or more off and I only poo once or twice a week - it is a spectacular one - usually after severalpints of the foaming ale - my record is six full bags in one night! Then there's the scrabbling around at three in the morning changing the bed and getting poo off my slippers! Never really had sausages before but I think I am starting some now!

     

    Keep smiling

     

    love

     

    Drew

     

    X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi little \my

    Did no-one ever tell you that the posher they are it follows that they are normally more depraved????

    So forget the talk of rolos etc ;)

    As for the frock, why shouldn't GC have something pretty to look at (casting no aspertions) but hey if you are gonna give him a rolo why not the posh frock too???? 

    Anyway lighthearted banter aside good luck ( legs, arms, eyes and goodness only knows what else is crossed).

    Love Helen xxxx