OMG am I going mad I ask myself. After the calmness taking over yesterday getting the results I then slept for about 2 hours altogether.
I spent the lonely dark hours thinking is it possible to be too positive. It feels like tempting fate is this normal???. I have been reassuring all around me that this is ok and that I am stronger than this, a battle I will win and then alone in the dark I then start to doubt, I think because this is all new to me I dont really understand this grading system (ignorant or naive) one of the two.
Once the dark hours have passed and there are signs of movement all over the house I then paint the smile back on and present myself to all as not being worried about all of this. I have decided that the best thing is to come to work today to tie up all the loose ends as I wont be in for a few days but I find the office are looking at me with that 'oh poor dear' look on their faces.
Roll on tomorrow when I can get rid of this lump and then begin to face this head on.
Take care everyone
Love Terri xxx
