So it's been another gap since my last post. I suppose that's a good thing really because it means that less has happened, fewer dramas, which can only be a good thing.
There are some things to offload though, so here goes.
Mum finished her first round of treatment just over a week ago. 6 weeks of daily radiotherapy and chemo (in pill format) all done and dusted. Initially she seemed to cope very well, but once the halfway stage passed, the cumulative effect seemed to kick in and she got very tired, sickness and her hair started falling out.
It's so hard seeing her go through this, but we try to take comfort from the fact that a few weeks of this should make her better in the long term.
We went to Rachel's birthday party last Saturday night and saw mum and Colin. Mum looked quite tired, and her vision/coordination is a bit off, but she had much more hair left than I imagined! She described it as fluff but actually it just looks thin at the back. From the front, you can't really tell.
She's got a 3 week break in treatment now and then back to chemo for 1 week in 5 (double dose). Next scan is in July. I think she's a bit apprehensive about that.
I think the whole thing has been very trying on her and Colin's relationship. Mum feels very restricted by the loss of independence not being able to drive, and I think frustrated by the side effects of the treatment. Colin is struggling a bit to know what to do for the best, and often says that "he can't do right for doing wrong". I'm not at all surprised, because I can imagine how mum is (because I would be the same!), and see it from her point of view as well. Hopefully, they'll ride the storm and come out the other side, but it's hard to see the effect it's having.
Adam got a bit upset at the party because he finds it hard to see mum going through this battle. It was hard to see him upset, but I tried to reassure him that it was just because he cared and it was OK to get upset about it. I told him that I get upset too, usually at the most inappropriate of moments, because it sort of creeps up on you, and that seemed to reassure him.
One of the positives of this experience is the reinforcement of our already strong little family unit. We might not be numerous, but we're a tough bunch and we're all there for each other through this.
On a sadder note, our good friend Phil sadly lost his battle with liver cancer, not that he ever really had a battle because he didn't get the opportunity to fight, being diagnosed when it was too late. We went to his funeral last Saturday which was very upsetting. I couldn't stop thinking about mum, but it did remind me that we DO have a battle and we're very lucky we still have mum. Watching Phil's daughters at the funeral was heartbreaking (they're 18 and 21). However, the funeral was very fitting (loud music and funny stories a plenty) and a lovely "after party" afterwards. It was a privilege to be invited, and be able to bid him farewell.
So that's where we're at. I've been a on course about coping with stress today, and I'm so glad I did. Although I've had CBT before for workplace stress, mum's illness has brought new pressures/stresses and it was great to listen to some new techniques for coping, as well as revisit some old ones. I'd like to share them with mum, but she's on a trial at the hospital for CBT and cancer patients and I don't want to interrupt that process because I think she'll get a lot from that. I'll keep it in mind though.
We seem to have been surrounded by cancer stories lately, this horrible indiscriminate disease just doesn't give up, but one of our friends who recently had a lump removed from her throat has been given the all clear and Geoff is in remission, so hopefully we're going to get a run of good news stories now.
