my relationship has been affected

1 minute read time.

Hi this is my first time on site. I had a hysterectomy 3 wks ago and was diagnosed with appendix and ovarian cancer. Am still waiting 4 more tests 2 be done as been told it unusual and trying not 2 dwell on it 2 much until know more.easier said than done! Was expecting results 2 days ago then had call 2 say it would take another wk. I been struggling since op but cant have hormone treatment until know my results. All the wks of fear and worry came out and took it out on my boyfriend of 2 half yrs.I apologised after and was in floods of tears for first time.He refused 2 accept my apology and has ignored my calls and texts. He text once saying the row could not be taken back and he wants time 2 think about things and space and that what he going 2 do. I am a single mum off sick from work and feel so scared lonely and isolated. Feel so hurt that he walked away and was so hard and cold 2 me. Have tried 2 think maybe he cant deal with it all, then think maybe he just not want me. he has made comments about my weight loss which i think insensitive. just all feels like 2 much at moment and terrified of results and going through it on own whilst trying hold it all together 4 my daughter.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Sue-Sue,

    Just take things nice and easy,dont go jumping the gun until you have had all the tests and the results before you start thinking the worst. As for your boyfriend he probably is as frightened as you, and dosent know how to handle the situation.Give yourselves time and space. But try and keep in touch.

    This site you are on now is well known for the Cancer patients and Carers on it. they are alot of wonderful people who understand what you are going through and if you want any help or advice there is always someone here only to willing to share their experiences with you . So what ever you do dont think your alone your not,thats what we are all here for to help eachother out.

    So Take care and be safe Love Sarsfield.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi SueSue,

    Know its easier said than done but try not scare yourself with might be and just prepare yourself to deal with whatever happens positively. As for your boyfriend it maybe that he's as scared as you but not sure how to handle it. Give him space but don't close the lines of communication.

    There are so many wonderful people on this site and always someone who gets exactly what you're going through and talking to them does help.

    Wishing you luck on the outcome of your tests. Take care and stay strong.

    Maxine

  • Hi Sue,

    Waiting for a firm diagnosis is horrible and we (patients especially) all know exactly how you are feeling. Once you know definite facts and figures you will know how to handle the treatment.

    Good luck,

    KateG

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Sue, I agree with what has been said previously regarding your boyfriend.  It seems to me that he is panicking about what is happening. Give him some time. Perhaps you could write him a letter explaining how you were feeling when you let it all out and tell him how hurt you are about his attitude.

    I hope it all works out for you.  This is a very emotional time for you and we all understand exactly where you are coming from, so please don't hesitate to take all the support you can from the wonderful people on this site.

    Best wishes, Christine xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Sue......My partner wanted to leave me for a while just to try and get his head around what was going on because he was terrified of losing me. I had my diagnosis and me being me told him if he left then he couldn't come back. Two and a half years later he is still here. He went through a very selfish period, it was a me,me,me and he became cold and distant, it was his way of dealing with it, he was trying to protect himself and it was the time I needed him the most. My cancer has returned and this time I gave him the chance to go and he said he isn't going anywhere. So maybe your guy just needs to get his head around this and then it will be the time to talk when you know what is going on and then hopefully everything will fall into place. You are in a very scary place right now love and the wait drives us all crazy, we have all been there,once you know either way, that is the time to sort things out. You are not on your own, it may feel that way, we are here to give you support.......love Carol x