Living with secondary breast cancer

It is strange to think that I have secondary breast cancer when I haven't had breast cancer for 18 years!  It was such a shock when a painful shoulder, which I thought was caused by a trapped nerve in my neck, was diagnosed as liver mets! Then after other tests they found multiple bone mets and some spots in my lung!  I had been fitter in the last 5 years than I had been for ages. I cycled 60 miles and crossed Dartmoor in one day, to stay with my brother in Newton Abbot in April last year! 

I really enjoyed my job working on the district as a community staff nurse, but had to go off sick when I was struggling to get into and out of the car.  After being told that without treatment my prognosis was 6 months, I was also told by the surgeon who has been seeing me yearly for check ups that I may decide to refuse treatment and just enjoy what time I have left.  Well, it will be 6 months since diagnosis in a couple of weeks and I am feeling so much better.  The chemo and pamidronate I have had regularly since June have really worked at improving my quality of life.  Unfortunately I have had to decide to go for ill health retirement as even with all the improvements in my health I would not be able to go back to work.  I could maybe do the odd hour now and then but would then have to have a rest, not really possible in the nursing environment!

I have managed to keep really upbeat for most of the time, although I do have some low times, especially if I think about not being there for my 2 lovely daughters, who are 15 and 19.  I also find that I appreciate things far more, the beautiful area where I live with views of the sea and Torrs.  The lovely colours of the leaves on the trees as they change and fall, the beauty of a smile, and the joy of family and friends. This is the first time I have every blogged although I do keep a diary. I find it helps to write things down.