It is strange to think that I have secondary breast cancer when I haven't had breast cancer for 18 years! It was such a shock when a painful shoulder, which I thought was caused by a trapped nerve in my neck, was diagnosed as liver mets! Then after other tests they found multiple bone mets and some spots in my lung! I had been fitter in the last 5 years than I had been for ages. I cycled 60 miles and crossed Dartmoor in one day, to stay with my brother in Newton Abbot in April last year!
I really enjoyed my job working on the district as a community staff nurse, but had to go off sick when I was struggling to get into and out of the car. After being told that without treatment my prognosis was 6 months, I was also told by the surgeon who has been seeing me yearly for check ups that I may decide to refuse treatment and just enjoy what time I have left. Well, it will be 6 months since diagnosis in a couple of weeks and I am feeling so much better. The chemo and pamidronate I have had regularly since June have really worked at improving my quality of life. Unfortunately I have had to decide to go for ill health retirement as even with all the improvements in my health I would not be able to go back to work. I could maybe do the odd hour now and then but would then have to have a rest, not really possible in the nursing environment!
I have managed to keep really upbeat for most of the time, although I do have some low times, especially if I think about not being there for my 2 lovely daughters, who are 15 and 19. I also find that I appreciate things far more, the beautiful area where I live with views of the sea and Torrs. The lovely colours of the leaves on the trees as they change and fall, the beauty of a smile, and the joy of family and friends. This is the first time I have every blogged although I do keep a diary. I find it helps to write things down.
FormerMember
Hi sue, sorry to hear you have secondary b.c..... I found myself in a similar position myself, after 9 years of thinking I was cancer free I was informed I had 5 large secondaries in my liver, and that I had another primary tumour in my uterus,... They told me I had 3 to 4 months to live, that was in march 2008.... I'm still here, had 8 fec 100 in 2008, which gave me an extra 18 months past my sell by date, and have just finished 6 taxotere so hopefully that will give me at least another 18 months before another gremlin grows, they are finding new ways to fight cancer every day, and I intend to keep on fighting it with whatever weapons they give me, so keep on fighting, your in the right place for support
COURAGE IS.....
When your scared to death....but you saddle up anyway
Thanks everyone for all your good wishes. Yes Tangodancer I have started to write to my girls. I was going to write a letter but then started to write memories of their babyhoods and early childhoods in A5 hardback books. I haven't written much in there lately but I do keep a diary anyway so they have a huge cupboard of diaries which I have kept since 1988!! I am also putting things into boxes and trying to sort out all the bits I have kept for them.
