This shit is becoming real and it's terrifying.
Dad has his pre op on Friday but the surgeons secetary has phoned and given dad the date for the operation...Exactly a week today he'll be in hospital.
Everything will be ok? It's got to be.Least that's the narrative I'm spinning to my dad and mum.On Saturday whilst me and mum walked my dog and out of earshot of dad she asked if dad could snuff it during the operation....subtly put ...what do you say ,what can you say definitely not the truth ,that yes it's a possibility ,every operation is dangerous and at 79 ,with AF and on blood thinners the risk is bigger,but I said no ,he'll be right they know what there doing ,they do this type of thing all the time.Mums mind put at ease...maybe she was pretending too,maybe we're both telling half truths just so we can get through this.
I'm not sleeping I feel anxious for Dad and what hes going to have to go through ,and how he'll be afterwards.
When you're in hell best keep walking.
Onwards !!!!!
