Into week 3 now and RT11 completed. Alas the first signs of degeneration have appeared overnight. My first ulcer under the right side of my tongue has forced my hand into starting pain relief (gargling aspirin and use of bonjela, if allowed). Also despite eating as much as I want, including cakes, choc mousses, ice cream etc. I have lost 5lbs this week which isn't good. Might have to put some extra loose change in pockets for the formal weigh in on Wed as don't want to be tube fed just yet if I can help it. And so to the Armada reference. I feel it seems as though I am one of the coastal lookouts at Lizard Point who in 1588 noticed the mast of the first galleon as it came over the horizon, I knew it was coming but wasn't quite sure as to the magnitude or power of the force that would follow. Well it seems as though the effects of RT are now starting to arrive, its time for hoping that the doctors and consultants have got it wrong and I won't suffer any effects, and its time to prepare for the next leg of the journey. The realisation that I am not well and can't continue as normal for now (as I have tried to do so far). The honeymoon period seems as though it could be over (I am grateful it has lasted into the third week). It is not the pain I fear, it is the fact that the recovery cannot start until another months time. I have always been a do-er, a mover and shaker, the waiting for things to happen, the things which are beyond my control, is SO frustrating. I know there is a plan, I know I need to be a patient patient, but I hate not feeling well and not being able to do and enjoy the things I want to do, when I want to do them. That said, its time for me to knuckle down now and 'man up', to take one day at a time, safe in the knowledge that "time waits for no man" and nothing can prevent this treatment from ending on 28th December. That will be when the real road to recovery begins...
