Yesterday I spent the day with an old school friend I haven't seen for 20 years! It was great to see him and we started off talking like it was only last week that we saw each other. But, after we got all the pleasantries out the way we really started to talk. Long story short is he had a huge tumour on his kidney, had that kidney removed, is recovering and is going through a period of not knowing weather the cancer has spread yet.
Now, we talked for great deal about what we had both gone through over the past few months and lamented about the issues we had during our hospital stays but, it became clear quite quickly he was opening up to me very easily and with great urgency. It turned out that although his family support was in place and great and working he had not talked to other people with cancer, or even looked for sites like this to talk, share or listen.He was in desperate need to let some feelings out and when he did the relief was evident. We had a good day. I sent him away with the local resources that I use and have forwarded him list of bookmarks and favourite sites. Afterwards I felt empowered that I had helped him even though I was still clutching at straws myself in my daily grind to gain knowledge and weed out disinformation on my illness, emotions and quality of life.
And then I asked myself, "Am I doing enough to talk/chat/shoot the shit with other cancer sufferers and terminally ill people?" and I think the answer is NO.
So watch out ..... I may turn up in chat room later!
Yes Shank, there is a great deal to be said about the way we help one another on this site. I hope you told your friend about What Now? Families and friends can offer a certain amount of support but it is much much easier sharing with fellow patients.
good for you shank, its good that you were able to help your friend, it does help. i came across this site bye accident, and it has been a lifeline, my family are wonderfull (and theres a lot of them) my sis jomac even comes on here, but it`s different talking to people who know,i only ever used computers for skype and email before so im new at all this, but i plucked up the courage to try chat one day, and never looked back, everyone is so friendly and helpfull, its a bit fast sometimes and different concersations going on at once but you soon get the hang of it. look forward to seeing you there. liz x
bet your friend feels loads better shank this site has made a massive difference to me so get yourself bac on here quick lol and your friend i had same op as him with the kidney hope you r both well
I haven't talked a lot about what is going on in my mind, other than " I'm fine" whan approached with " Wow you look well/ really well" I have used this site a lot, not necessary blogging but reading the blogs of others and am not at the stage where I am adding comments. I tend to be a lurker in the chat room I find it a bit difficult to jump into the middle of converstaions.But I think this is a fantastic site to offload and to find out info. There is so much support and understanding. Often family have their own issues to deal with their look on cancer In fact people who havent had cancer often dont understand the feelings and thoughts that we have. There will always be someone on here who understands exactly.
sorry to hear your friend is suffering too. I can imagine what a relief it must have been for him to be able to open up to you! I hope we see him on this site and hope we see you in chat!
