The rest of monday was a daze. We had to go and tell my parents, my siblings and my in laws,which wasn't easy. Even now, writing this is hard cos it makes me think of it over again. We decided to keep the kids(13 and 16) in the dark until after Xmas as it wouldn't do any good to spoil it for them. By the wednesday, the clinical nurse specialist from our local hopsital contacted us and said the MDT team had gone through my notes and scans and assessed my cancer as operable. This was at the time much more positive news. I thought it would mean I could be cured. Not so. This B*stard disease is by all statistics, going to kill me and even with surgery I can only expect to live up to 5 more years if I'm very lucky. I'm 48, with a lovely wife, two really smashing kids and I don't want to miss them growing up or me growing old with my Lisa. But that choice has now been taken away from me. So now, I got to work out a way of facing up to my new future, of hospitals, discomfort and demise. Sorry if it sounds depressing, but thats how I feel right now.
