The Fear of Death

2 minute read time.

Hi Folks,

Sorry about the subject but I think it is one of the things in life we all have to face. What I have written is my own experiences of death and the effect it had on me personally.

So it all started way back in 1946. I was 3 yrs old. My Gran died, and being Irish it was an open coffin. I remember my Father lifting me up to the coffin and laying me beside my Gran,He said to me now give your Gran a kiss and a cuddle before she goes to heaven. I remember everyone was praying and crying,and I thought to myself why is everyone so upset. Some detail stuck in my mind like the fact why was she so cold or what was she doing with two pennies in on each eye. But the one thing I didnt feel was fear. In fact I felt at ease, no Panic. I would have happily lay with Gran, but my Dad lifted me out of the coffin then I felt why did he do that.

Anyway jump forward 3 Months and I ended up in Hospital with Dyptheria. I was in an Isolation ward.  Years later I learned from my Mum I wasnt expected to last the night. The only thing I can remember over the next fortnight. I had died Three times. But the three times I was supposed to have died the only thing I can remember was, me trying to open my eyes. There was no panic or feeling of fear,no lights or looking down on myself in the bed it was all very Beautiful and peace full. Then I had a sharp intake of breath, and there I was back in the bed. With nurses and Drs all around me and my Mum and Dad standing looking through the ward window crying there eyes out.

I could go on as it happened a further Three times under different circumstances. I Have held my Dads Hand as he died from Cancer of the stomach. I watched as my Mum  died and then my eldest Brother and Sister and last year my younger Brother of a heart attack out in Saudia Arabia..

To finish off which could been a long story. Even when I was diagnosed with my Aggressive Cancer of the Larynx,Thyroid, and Oesophagus. I can honestly say, that not once did I fear  or still  fear the thought of Death.

The one thing in my life now, which gives me more satisfaction is being a Member of Macmillan Cancer Support Group. For giving me the opportunity to help and share my experiences. With my Friends.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Jackie

    Well I bloody well am afraid of going, no not true, its what I leave behind.

    I've only ever seen my Dad when he passed 20yrs ago and the main thing I remember was the peaceful look on his face.

    I lay beside my Dad and cuddled him until the funeral people came, and I understand that feeling of no fear you felt with your Gran.

    But your not signing out yet Jackie, your too valuable to us all.

    Shaz (((((((((((((((((((((JACKIE))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • I think what most people fear is not death itself but the journey. We do not want to be dependant on others or be in pain and we don't want to think of our relatives grieving.

    KateG

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Sarsfield,

                   Thank you sharing your experiences and feelings on a difficult subject. I do not fear death but as others have said, it is the days or weeks leading up to it that cause worry. However, I am sure that we will be posting to each other for a long time yet.

    You are such an important member of this site and are held in great affection by us all.

                     Take care,

                        Love and hugs,

                             lizzie xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi

    Well, having been close on a few occasions in the past 5 years, I can say I much prefer the being alive....although there was one weekend after my stem cell when I was feeling so ill that I thought "Can we just get this over with" as I'm not one for long drawn out goodbyes.

    Its important that we say/do the things we need to throughout our lives (eg telling or showing someone we love them) and then when we do die we can go thinking that nothing is left unfinished.

    We're a long time dead, so should make the most of when we are alive

    Big hugs xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    A wonderful, frank and simple post - thank you!

    I have experienced, sadly, many friends and family dying, but when I say sadly, the sadness if for us that are left behind, not for those who have passed on....

    Much Love and Blessings to you,

    Ems x