should i protest?

i had a call from the hospital today to confirm that the biopsy shows the small cell is back in exactly the same place as the first time ! i took it quite badly .i think up until today i could convince myself that they were mistaken and that the mass was infact scar tissue. now i know. i've been surgery has been ruled out and that they have decided that i should have more chemo then radio. this is where i have a small dilemma . chemo didn't work the first time round infact it almost killed me ( i caught c diff )the only thing that gave me my very short 4 month remission was surgery. i asked the onc nurse who made this decision , the surgeons or the oncologists , she said the surgeon was off today so it was the oncologist. last year in the same situation the oncologist and the surgeon's had a war of words over which way round to do treatment , the surgeon lost so i had chemo first , this treatment plan obviously didn't work so i'm concerned about trusting them again. what say do i have? this tumour has grown 3 cm's in 3 months , supa fast , if chemo doesn't work again where will i be 2-3 months down the line? i asked the nurse if i had any say in what happens next she told me i should battle it out with the oncologist. has anyone else had there treatment plan changed if they don't like it? this is all dependant of coarse on what happens with the pet scan on wednesday they are simply guessing that it hasn't spread . i had my gp round this afternoon as i've been in incredible pain , she's prescribed me some heavy meds and she's referring me to the local hospice so that they can manage my pain relief , to me that don't sound too good!i mean i want it managed but i dunno ' the hospice' why can't the hospital do it. i am already battling this dreadful disease again i don't know if i have it in me to battle the oncologist , i simply can't take there word for it anymore that they know what they 're doing. lol my little boys birthday today and i'm so sad and angry that i couldn't even hug him.