oh the shame!!

2 minute read time.
i haven't been on here for a while partly because i'm not sure if i belong. i've been told the cancer has been removed but i'm not officially in remission , kind of in limbo. i had the results of my ct last week and it came back all clear , but because i am allergic to ct contrast they arn't entirely sure so wanted me to have a liver mri (today) and a groin mri ( next week). first time i've been back to oncology for a while and i was pleased to see a newly formed macmillian helpdesk . this was a little cubicle at the back of the hospital with a very sweet macmillian nurse and wall to wall leaflets. so i asked the nurse if she had leaflets on small cell cervical cancer , they had every other kind of leaflet there, ' no ' she said ' we don't see many people like you' .i wasn't quite sure if she meant small cell patients actually alive and kicking or just small cell cervical in general , anyway it brought a smile to my face that i was so unique. i knew she wouldn't have any leaflets i was just testing the poor woman. i had my liver mri today which is about an hour long maybe more . hadn't realised how needle phobic i had become until today, this even surprised me as my body is covered in 10 years worth of tattoos , but anyway chemo's put me right off . its not helped that my veins are messed up and won't behave so it took 3 tries before they got the cannula in for mri contrast. then they showed me in to there brand new sparkly mri machine , lovely piece of equipment which is half the size of the original !!! as if being squeezed into a tube isn't bad enough they have to go and make it smaller. because its smaller you have to have your arms raised above your head which is ok for a 5 minute ct but for a hour long mri is agony . so by the time they had finished i was stuck good and proper my back had bloody seased up . so it very embarrassingly took 2 people to get me of the flipping mri machine . a proper flipping nightmare and i've got it all again next week. i thought i would share with you my uniqueness and my shame at getting stuck
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