hello all ...hoping you had a good xmas and new year .i havn't blogged for a while but then i've been trying to put it all to the back of my mind ..like a bad dream , but it never does go too far does it . my last block of radiotherapy was 5 weeks ago and my last mri was 6 weeks ago , by all signs its looking good . the radio has done a brill job of shrinking the tumour right back and there is only a small bit left which they hope to zap with internal radio.
i'm not looking forward to this part of treatment at all , even though people have said it isn't that bad . i kind feel its all so impersonal and that i'm losing my last bit of dignity . i have an appointment next monday to discuss what they are doing next and i just know they are going to be talking about it in all its gory detail , but my main worry is my partner wants to come with me . and even though i know what it entails and i think he does too , i don't particularly want to discuss that in the open with him ( if you know what i mean) . i don't quite know how to deal with it yet .
over xmas i've been building my strength up , and for quite alot of it i was normal . but recently over the past week or so and especially today i've been losing my appetite ( worrying) and been in real pain going to the loo ( both 1 and 2) . i've had a wee infection a few weeks ago and prescribed some antibiotics but i think this has started me worrying again because i had a wee infection just before my re accurance was found. i'm putting 2 and 2 together and making 5. i'm also not sure what pain and dicomfort should just be associated with pelvic radiotherapy ..i would of thought 5 weeks on it would be getting better . i guess at the momment i'm just one big bag of worry .
