well after 4 months of quitting smoking i've been chain smoking my way through the day , says it all really. i was supposed to go into hospital for my radical hysterectomy tomorrow got a phone call this morning my white blood count was -7 too dangerous to do the op . i could of told them that they booked the op for only 3 weeks after my last chemo not enough time for my body to recover. why book it in in the first place. my partner was the poor sod who had to break the bad news and who swiftly fled the room after i threw a spectacular tantrum . phone call number two mri results the tumour hasn't got worse but hasn't got better oh joy 4 months of hair loss feeling sick . tierdness etc for the same result as the mri 4 months ago. i despair.
meanwhile i have 5 kids who don't know whether there coming or going my 7 year old ( my mummys boy) is crushed he's certainly not the carefree little boy pre cancer. he wets the bed every night , he's aggressive , he's so angry but he doesn't know who he's angry at ,he sees his mum and dad crying and its just so unfair.
when i spoke to my onc nurse i told her my familys falling apart we need help she said i should of had a mcmillian nurse months ago so she would get straight onto it. not bloody good enough myself my partner and our large brood of kids are on an emotional rollercoaster and we have just been dumped with it. as adults this process eats us up god knows what damage its doing to my kids, how can i reassure them when i'm inconsolable.
to top it off the op has been put off until 6 th november the reason being ( classisc one this) the surgeon is holiday in thailand for two weeks . don't know what to do don't know what to say run out of tears!
FormerMember
what can I say? I have an inkling of how you're feeling with all that's been going on with me, but my love you must be at crisis point emotionally. Why do hospitals just think it's only you involved when being treated and going through the system? They surely must acknowledge that you have a family, responsibilities as well as coping with what you have? It makes my blood boil. I have worked in the NHS for over 33 years in different guises but I tell you it is NOT the NHS I joined all those years ago. Then it was people that mattered. Nurses were NURSES, not machine workers. They did their training on the WARDS not in University. They CARED about the people in their care. People who worked in the NHS did so because they cared. I remember being told that I worked for love of the job and not for the money as it was so lousy lol!
I really hope you and your lovely family get the help that you all need to get through this tough time. I am keeping you all close to my heart and sending lots of hugs to all of you. Tomorrow is another day sammio. Start fresh again in the morning and find out about all the help you atre entitled to.
What a terrible time you are having. Yes, why didn't they assign you a Cancer MacMillan nurse. I didn't get one either during my treatment - I didn't know about them until another patient told me right at the end.
I know this is going to sound harsh, but please PLEASE stub that fag out. Now you're making me really worried about you. To have been so good and to have managed to kick that evil habit and now they have thrown so many problems at you that you have gone back to it. However you know that it is not good for you but is feeding everything going on which is wrong. Can I ask what chemo you had?
I'm so sorry this has happened. I wish I had said that 3 weeks after chemo was probably too soon, but I thought they knew what they were doing. Try and stop the smoking though, not because it will make the cancer worse, but because it is bad for the children.
Now you have more time to get over the chemo. You should feel stronger in about 5 weeks time.
I'm glad you are going to have a Macmillan nurse now. It should make a lot of difference. Your family needs a lot of support as well as you.
Your chemo was not a waste. Without it, the tumour might have grown. Just holding it back was good. It is pretty bad to give news like that over the telephone. Couldn't it wait until you go in for the op?
You have a lot of friends rooting for you, and your prognosis really isn't all that bad. Once you have had the offending tumour etc removed, it should give you a better chance.
had etoposide and carboplatin the same they give for small cell lung cancer. yeah i will try and stop again, i've really just had enough today i feel so much for my little boy at ,one point today i just felt like packing my bags and walking away from it all, i'm a grown up and its all screwing with my head there has been no proper action plan from the beginning. because its small cell and they have caught it so early they all seem to be chasing there tails as they don't really have anything to compare it to. but this rollorcoaster is really taking its toll on all of us and i feel really guilty when i see my lovely timid loving little boy so confused and probably frightened hitting out at everybody and everything. professer gore is overseeing it all but all the treatment is being done at my local hospital. all the time i've been telling him this special medicine thats been making mummy sick is to make me better but it hasn't has it it hasn't done anything. i just despair today
Sorry you're having such a rough time. Sometimes it seems like they (the consultants) just make it up as they go along, but they're the best we've got, so I guess we just have to trust them. My 7 year old is a mummy's boy too, but I've only had surgery so far so its easier to keep things normal. Trying to plan a birthday party for him, but it's hard to focus.
Maybe its not such a bad thing that the surgery is delayed; easier to cope with once you've recovered a bit from surgery. Crap news on the MRI though. Mine (spine) was inconclusive, which I take to mean probably bad. Life'snot fair is it.
