thought i'd write a little blog on some communication issues i'm having at the momment.wondered if anyone has any advice?
i'm having real trouble communicating this awful disease to anybody apart from the medical profession and fellow cancer friends. i seem to get really offended when maybe i shouldn't. for example i was on the phone to a very good friend the other day i was trying to explain to her that although i had a caravan holiday booked for september , that i was worried about all my forthcoming tests and my illness coming back , just chit chatter really i was just mulling on being well for the holiday . her response was ' well if your cancer has come back ,its good because you might get a free holiday ' .
at this jaw dropping comment i said i had tea in the oven and promptly ended the conversation..this person isn't nasty or not got my best interests at heart and i would call her a dear friend , but i don't think i will ever be able to talk to her about my cancer again!
i get a bit fed up with the ' oh it'll be fine ' and the best one which is ' they cured you didn't they' i want to reply yeah thats why they stick me in a bloody mri machine everytime i so much as break wind, because everythings cured and hey if has come back i might get a free holiday....so chin up !!!
communciation with my partner is the worst i've resorted to trying to explain everything to him in toddler talk ..you know simplified ..no good he still doesn't get it .
today was a fairly important day today ....in the past few weeks the oncologists and the surgeons have got increasingly worried about my health and today i had an important mri to decide if the cancer's back .i don't get the results today but its the day i cross fingers and pray lol.
on the way to the hospital after seeing i was nervous he told me to take a chill pill why was i worried ! my last mri was fine so why shouldn't this one i could have explained the inns and outs of it all to him .but sometimes he doesn't seem that bothered anymore .....or maybe thats me..
after supper this evening he was actually trying to communicate with me hears how it went
him: bit if a nuiscence all these tests aren't they
me:they are important because they tell us whats wrong and how much longer we've got
him: we all got to die sometime
me: yes but as a cancer patient ours could be a shorter lifespan
the conversation ended....i have tried
i don't really think i want to talk cancer anymore to him
FormerMember
Do I know what you mean!!!!!!!!
I am fed up with trying to explain to my son why I cannot book to fly to Florida for his wedding next April. "It's going to cost you a lot more if you wait" is all I get off him.
It'll be OK he says when I tell him I was quoted over £2000 for the travel insurance, and then the next thing he says is just dont tell them. So I have a biggie coming up this week when I see the BC specialist, and I just haven't bothered telling him anymore since I went through it all with him last month. He can't or won't see that insurance companies will look for any way of worming out of a claim. I may break an ankle or something silly but not mentioning the cancer will give them reason to reject a claim because I misled them.
Similarly I don't feel comfortable telling people about what's coming up. The only person I have able to properly talk to is my old girlfriend, (a slap off her if she reads this - calling her old) because she has just gone through the 10 yr milestone after breast cancer. And sods law, she's off on holiday on Friday, the same day I have my appointment.
