How to plan a funeral when your dad is still alive

1 minute read time.

Im in such a sad place at the moment. I cant stop crying as I write this. Why do we have to go through so much pain. I ask a friend on here what do I say and she said just write from the heart. My wonderful dad was diognoised on the 8 March with oesophagus cancer. Went through lots of tests and could only have 10 days of radiotherapy which nearly killed him. But dad has been so strong and never once complained. He has now been put  in the hands of willen hospice and no more can be done. I see the pain going through his body and you just wonder what all those pain killers are masking. We have been told he has weeks left . Took dad to Oxford yesterday for his last appointment and he looked so frail. Lucky we got him a wheel chair.The sparkle that was in his eyes is no longer. We are all in such pain. I worry so much for mum when dad leaves us. He wants me to plan the funeral so there is not alot to do when it happens. I spoke to the undertaker and the crematorium to sort things out. This has been so hard to do.

Dad doesnt want us to forget him and be close to us when he dies. so we are going to put his ashes in a pendant for mum and myself to treasure for the rest of our lives. x

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Treetop

    I just wanted to let you know that my mum arranged her own funeral, inviting the minister round for supper (she was in no way religious) and asked us to be there. She chose her own uplifting meaningful songs to sing and music, and asked that a poem I had written be read out by one of us (her 3 children). She was pleased to have done the arrangements and when she died on 21 september it was a huge help knowing what she wanted. The funeral was exactly as she wished, everyone wore bright colours and the service was lovely.

    I was dreading making the arrangements but am so glad now that she had a great deal of input into them, it meant even more to know it was as she wanted. I know how hard it seems, but our experience was actually a nice one! We  reminisced, laughed and cried together and the minister said in 30 years he had never arranged a funeral with the client and in such an inspirational manner!!

    Dont be scared, thinking of you Sharonxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Sharon that's  lovely. But I think it is just too much for my dad to take in . You are very lucky that she was strong enough to be able to do this. Bigs((((((hugs)))))) to you Hun xxx