Why is it that people seem so smug and think that the love of their life will never die?

hi rosiemay

Yes there is some people who think we can just forget our loved ones , as if  you can just snap out of it . I too lost my partner of 17years in sept 2009 we had so many plans for the future, we were a very close couple ,we always kissed one another before we went out ,we always walked hand in hand ,we were true soulmates. Dont think we will ever be pain free from the loss off our loved ones maybe we will just get by untill we meet them again, keeping there memories close to our hearts , which nobody else can ever have or take away from us . take care love sharonx

No-one can ever take away the love you shared. His love fro you is just as strong as it ever was, as is your for him. The parting this time is different because you can't picture where he is, not his body, his soul what essentially made him unique. however, just as with any other time apart, his love is with you.

As for wearing your wedding rings, I do too and will never ever stop being married to him. I will try to live my life as I imagine he would have wanted me to do but in my heart I will always belong to him and will wait until we can be together again. Like me and my hubbie it sounds like you shared more love in your time together than many people experience in a lifetime.

Hugs to you Rosie, Lesley xx

Rosie

I'm afaid I cant answer your question as to how long because for me it is only 3 weeks since my beloved Sharon passed away after 28 years together (lightweight to your 39 years) after 15 months of battling pancreatic cancer.

All I can say to you is that this is the place to be and to take advice. No-one who has been through the same suffering and grief as you will ask you why you are "still" wearing your wedding ring or why "you havent started dating yet". The world seems to be divided into three -

1. The insensitive i.e. the people who cannot see why a question about a wedding ring worn for so long hurts so much

2. The well meaning i.e. all those who ask how you are but cannot understand the hurt and grief you are feeling but want to help but cant

3. Those that have been through what you (and I) are going through and can provide wise counsel and advice based on their experience. This site is excellent for that

I hope someone else on here can help you understand more than me - but I do empathise with you

Be strong

John

because , some people are just plain STUPID, speaking from the other side of the fence so to speak as i am the one with terminal cancer, i would be horrified to think my Dave... hubby of 31 years would even think of taking his ring off so soon let alone think of dating.... if it were him  instead of me i dont think i would ever take off my ring... nor date, but i know people move on and would not want him to grow old alone... but my mind tells me mourning should be at LEAST a year.... maybe thats just me... but ignore the idiots... no better still dont take it, tell them to mind their own bloody business, or ask how they think in their vast experience of grief which is the easiest and best way to deal with it since they seem to have more experience than you apparently.... im so sorry for your loss. i used to think i would live forever and we would grow old together.. unfortunately i got breast cancer at the ripe old age of 38, my heart breaks at the idea of my Dave coping without me.... remember the good times...ignore fools

liz xxx

Liz

Yep you're right they are stupid and they dont think. I am sure your man Dave will not understand mourning until well after one year. I am three weeks in and from what I understand and expect I am in for the long haul - I cannot begin to comprehend what life is going to be like without my one true friend, You are right people do need to be told they need to back off and not make trite comments when they havent even thought. Sharon my soul mate of 28 years told me I had to move on and find someone else - I couldnt agree to it then and I will not agree to it now - no-one will replace her and I will continue to be polite to people who do not understand and then rant on this site because people do understand

Be strong and you and Dave make the most of your time - the most mundane of moments that I spent with Sharon over the past 15 months give me the greatest of comfort. Sharon loved her white wine but couldnt drink any in the last six months but the sip of my champagne on Christmas day will last with me for ever because it was just the 3 of us her (on a day release from the Hopice), me and our 17 year old. Make sure you and Dave spend as much time as possible together

Love John