Surviving

hello huni , yes writing blogs has that effect on me too robynn, i think it just helps to get it out and make sense of it . or maybe we both weird :) ,

and no its not ok , but that is our standard answer ,i know its diff situation for both of us, it wont be ok for a long time, but you are a very strong lady ,despite what you believe at the moment ,

you will never like me turn round when someone says how are you ? and say actually i feel like crap. as apart from friends on here, they don't want to know that , people want to hear were ok even if they know were not its easier for them to cope with ,

but you must remember robynn ,we are all here for you ,i think the world of you as do others on here , and i will do anything to get you through this and im sure i can speak for the others on here too and say we are all here . the whole way through this, to hold your hand and always be here with love and hugs . love jenni xxx

I find it easier just to say I am fine, I fell tht often that is what people want to hear, and I have no desire to spread doom and dispondenct. I don't tell them about the aches and pains, and the worry that it might be further spread. One of my colleagues at work said to me " you always say you are fine " to which I replied "well if I say anything else you will now I am really bad!"

On here, we can all be more open and say how we feel because there are people here who understand. And yes, writing a blog does get those worries and concerns out in the open, albeit in a protected surrounding, resulting in us feeling brighter.

Take care

Kath xx

I agree with Jenni (well said Jenni) We will listen to you when you say you feel crap, scared whatever. We will be here for you Robynn and anyone else who needs us. Take care of yourself Lots of Love Julie X

I know exactly what you mean Robynn. It's not too bad with close friends that you are in contact with on a regular basis & who know what you are going through but what do you say to those that you haven't seen for a while & who have heard the news through the grapevine?

I am going to an ex-colleagues leaving do tomorrow. I retired from work 3 years ago & haven't seen most of my old colleagues since but many know of my cancer via this ex-colleague. I will be seeing them all tomorrow & I don't want to put a damper on Leonie's farewell do (she is going to Germany with her soldier hubby) but it's hard to put a smile on your face & say 'I'm fine' to everyone when you know you aren't? I'm lucky that I'm not in the middle of treatment like you Robynn & everything is status quo at the moment, but that doesn't make the fears, worries, upset emotions stop.

So I will smile, say I'm fine, and only if anyone wishes to enquire further than that will I give a little more away. I have my wonderful friends & family behind me who support me when I'm down so I won't bother anyone else with it.

Everyone is different - we should do what makes us feel better inside - so if you feel better telling it like it is - do it - if you don't deserve to be honest about how you feel then who does?

Good luck with your treatment Robynn & you know we can at least share our true selves on here if nowhere else!

Love Angie xx

F  FREAKED OUT

I   INSECURE

N  NEUROTIC

E  EMOTIONAL