We were very close to one of Alfie's sisters and her husband (brother in law) in fact we named our son after him. Brian. They had made me promise faithfully that I would call them as soon as we got any news. Alfie remind me to call them while we were at my moms house. I really didn't want to... But I couldn't expect Alfie to do it. Their phone was ringing out and I was half hoping that they were out and wouldn't pick up... But they did. Brian answered the call.... It went like this - After the initial hello, he said ok tell... Good news or bad (think they already knew! Maybe everyone did except us! After all he had been in hospital for a long time...they must have all been thinking it's serious!) I said bad. He said oh s**t... Is it cancer?.... I said yes... He said oh s**t! So ok... What happens next? Chemotherapy? When can they operate? I said they can't, it's too late....oh my God! I heard Alfie's sister scream in the background...and I thought, I cant do this... I just can't do it.
There was lots of chatting, mom called my sister and she came and got the kids and took them home with her... They thought it was a great treat! And why not? They didn't need to know anything just yet.
We went home, stunned into silence, each in our own pit of absolute misery... Shocked to the core. All clocks seemed to have stopped, our lives seemed to have stopped... And we had fallen into this great hole, together. We were no sooner home when family started to arrive. Mom must have phoned everyone. One by one they turned up until we had a house full of family. Surrounding us with love and trying their best to comfort us both.
6 months is such a short time, people book holidays further away. We had just moved into our new home. We had three babies...well they were babies to us. Our son was 8 and our daughters were 5 and 2... Babies.
Alfie wanted life to go on as normal... Normal?! How?! But it did. At least on the surface. Underneath we were both paddling like mad!! We booked a holiday, he wanted to see the kids happy again... They were picking up on the tension, fear etc mom and one of my brothers were going to come with us. I asked Alfie if we could loan a video camera from someone. It seems morbid I know, but I wanted to film him with the kids. I knew my youngest daughter would have very little if any memory of him and I wanted her to be able to know a little of her dad. I thought that the older children would eventually enjoy looking at the video. He found it a bit weird but agreed in the end. I'm talking one of the 'old' type video cameras... That actually held a full size video tape, it was massive! We used it slot at home at first and Alfie got so used to it to the stage where he actually forgot I was filming him, it became natural for him to see me with the huge bloody box on my shoulder watching his every move with the kids!
By the time we went away on holiday Alfie had started to take some pain relief. He had slowed right down and struggled to walk very far at all. He had also lost a lot of weight. However, he still managed to take the kids swimming and down the slides... It must have been very hard for him. It was killing me to watch! I got him singing, laughing, drinking and generally having good time with his kids. That video was so worth it. The kids still watch it to this day and we all laugh when we watch it. I'm so glad we took that film. My youngest daughter does not remember her father, only what the older two have told her and of course me. Photos show a little, but on the video she sees her dad sing to her, pick her up and dance with her, take her in the swimming pool and play with her. It is and always will be priceless to them all.
