Hi guys
Do you know last week I wrote my blog, read it through, felt really smug that I'd yet again completed a literary work of art and then OMG forgot to save it. As it disappeared into the ether, I just burst into tears. Such is life these days, that it is the small unimportant things that take on the most significance and cause the most upset.
Anyhow, another huge upset recently was having to cancel my holiday to Nepal. I was gutted. In actual fact I spent soo much time being upset over this that it took the edge off the other things going on, so I suppose you could say that it had a positive as well. Still we managed to grab a week inbetween my treatments to get away which did us both the world of good although it cost an arm, leg and backside to get holiday insurance. £199 was apparently cheap according to the insurance broker, "Just you wait till you have your treatment - it'll cost double again". I pictured him sitting there rubbing his hands in glee. Am I the only one who thinks that this is a complete rip-off. At first they wouldn't even insure me as my diagnosis was less than 5 weeks ago. What's that about !!!! Still we paid, and we went and I must admit, an added perk was getting a tan to impress the radiology department of the hospital when I started my treatment. "Hmm, Mrs Taylor, aren't you a gorgeous bronzed goddess", I could imagine them saying.
Anyhow, let me go back to where I left off last time. This is, after all, supposed to be a chronological diary of things, not just my random musings.
My specialist nurse called to pre-warn me that I would be receiving a letter from the oncology department. The good news she told me was that it appeared that the cancer hadn't spread outside the local area. This was fantastic news and I couldn't wait to tell everyone. Although the staging couldn't take place till after surgery just knowing that things were not soo bad at the moment was a cause celebre. Soon enough the appointment came round and the Oncologist confirmed that because of the position of the cancer I would have to have a permanent stoma. Even this news was not as ghastly as I once may have thought it was. Funny how things which once would have been the end of the world, just become means to a end ie survival and as such diminish in importance. Anyhow it was suggested that my situation would be suitable for 5 days radiation then surgery after. Apparently this is because there has been a study showing that this helps prevent recurrence rates. Who am I to argue.
This was followed by a visit to my consultant. I took Mark along for company and re-assurance. But it was all quite positive. He felt it had been caught fairly early and that he would try to do some of the op by key-hole if possible.
Dutifully I now went twice pre-radiation to get my template done for the treatment. This involves, in my case, lying face down on a padded bench while I had tattoos marked on my pelvis and backside. Could I please have a beautiful butterfly perched on my botty cheeks or a long hissy serpent twisting from between my buttocks. No such luck, merely 3 small pricks and equally small little dots. No new body image for me then. No second career in the circus as the Tattooed Lady.
Anyhow last week on return from my holidays, I started the radiation itself. Anyone whose never had it can rest assured it does not hurt. There's a certain amount of gentle pushing and shoving to get you to match the measurements already taken so that the exact place is zapped. I did feel a bit nauseous and very tired toward the end of the week, but improved my diet which caused things to settle down. I did go to Aqua classes as well, on the promise that I would wash every bit of chlorine off my skin. I lay on the radiation couch every day for 5 minutes or so listening to the music in the background and gently rotated around while the rays did their job and the machine pinged away. It was actually really relaxing.
And of course the ultimate was the lady on the first day saying "Mrs Taylor, don't you look like a bronzed goddess". What. You don't believe me. Well anyhow what she really said was "Great tan, have you been away". But hey that was good enough for me.
My appointment with my Stoma Nurse took place on Thursday. I got measured for my new, all singing all dancing stoma. This was such a reassuring experience. I was asked to get into various positions so the best place could be found whereby if I did sports it would have less impact. Yet another x marks the spot then a run through of how it all works. I have yet to make my own templates for the bags, but I feel this is not going to be a happy experience. I do not do practical and giving me scissors, sticky back plastic and other handicraft bits and pieces is asking for trouble. Watch this space. Anyhow my surgery is on 31st March and its 29th today so I'm feeling a bit scared but managing to keep my spirits up by eating loads of delicous cakes, puddings, chocolate etc to build myself up. I'm going to my last Aqua class for a while tomorrow and hopefully will be about again in a few weeks to let you know how it all went.
Luv to you all
Sue
xxx
PS thanks to everyone for comments on blogs. I have also had lots of private emails I've counted in as well and intend to donate the £25 when I have recovered enough next month.
