Disillusioned with Chat...don't all attack at once!

3 minute read time.

Hi folks,

This has taken me sometime to put together because I know it is a sensitive subject so I hope I have addressed it correctly. 

In February of last year, I stumbled across What Now.  It was at a time when I was feeling very low and alone.  I’ve been living with cancer now since March 2004, so I wish I had come across this site much sooner!  I have since acquired some amazing friends from this site whom I love to bits :0)

I was so nervous when I first went into the chat room, but straight away Rose09 said hi and asked how I was, I told her I was new etc and slowly I revealed my story, I got so much support that evening, I came away feeling so much better knowing I had found this group who knew what I was going through and were happy to listen.

It’s because of the warm welcome, that I have (I hope) always said hello to new people, encouraged them to talk, share their worries.  I remember how nervous I was that first night in chat and I was a “cancer veteran” so to speak, so goodness knows how the newly diagnosed feel when entering chat for the first time, terrified and unsure to say the least.

Now I’m going to throw the cat amongst the pigeons here because I’m sure there are a lot of people who are going to disagree with me.  Let me make this clear, this is MY experience and my opinion of recent events in chat.  I also want to make it clear that this isn’t just since the merge of What Now and Mac, I had issues long before that.

I have felt for some time now disillusioned with chat.  I loved chat, it was somewhere to go and meet people, share good news, share fears, celebrate life and mourn the passing of friends.  However there have been on occasion people who have made what I feel are inappropriate comments.  This site when all is said and done is a Cancer Support Group.  So yes it’s ok to have a laugh etc but it is also ok for people who are having a tough time to talk about their fears or any issues they may be trying to work through, it’s also a place where “newbies” be it newly diagnosed or simply new to the site should be nurtured and encouraged to talk which in turn will make them want to come back, after all surely that is the main aim?  I think it’s unacceptable that some people have been made to feel as if they are spoiling the fun, some of whom have actually even been told so.  We have to remember that it is first impressions that count in chat and if we don’t interact with new visitors then they won’t return and they may be in dire need of the support that we all know we can offer!

I’m not aiming this at anyone in particular, as I have said it is a general observation about the change that seems to have occurred in chat.  I hope it doesn’t last, it will be a shame.  I have thought recently of just not bothering with it, but then I think that is silly and selfish because there will always be days when I need the comfort and support of chat and days where someone may need comfort and support from me, so I’m here to stay and for those of you who have also become disillusioned with chat, I hope you reconsider and come back.  It is after all a fantastic site!

Love and Peace

Indie xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I am fairly new, the first place I went was Chat, I got a good reception and people did ask questions, but then as more and more people came on I got ignnored, any question or answer I gave no-one acknowledged it. People were coming and going because they were being ignored. A conversation was going on between a group of people who obviously had formed a clique and met in person. I had one private chat with Jo-Mac which I enjoyed. I have never been in since. I much prefer blogging and PM. I feel I have made lots of friends on here and when I needed help when I was very down I got lots of love and hugs. So I will leave the chat for the professionals an stay with my friends on here. Love Julie XX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Gosh Indie, what a response to your blog. I don't go in much now, I rarely know any one when I do. I too miss the 'welcome flag' Rose09, Marsha and the late Angela and a few others were the 1st to support me when I ventured into chat I'll never forget them or there kindness. Love Linda

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Wow,

    thank you all for your fantastic responses!  I hope that if nothing else it makes us all (myself included) a little more aware when in chat.  This site is such a great resourse for us we need to make the most of it.

    Love and Peace

    Indie xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    mmm what can i say, Indie babe you have said out loud what many have thought. you know my thoughts but for the benefit of everyone else i will add my two penneth.

    I was DX in pril 2008 and found chat in September last year. I too was welcomed by Rose and Tipp with the ords that mike used. As time went by i became one of the chat oldies and as i got stronger and worked through my bad feelings became friendly with many of you. Indie, Sue Lorrainey and more. Those that know me will also know i like a laugh and had many ofthem usuall at my expense but i tried never to forget those that were new. toward the end of W/N i noticed the cliques that were mentioned and als very big ego's.

    All of you will also know tat when i am worried about something i sit very quiet and like just to have the company of others.

    However, in the new chati sat quietly ad was tld if i wanted to stay quiet then chat room wasnt the place for me.......i left and havent been back since. i am all for support of a chat room it helped me when i needed it. i only hope that the new people that have posted here find that someone on chat will pick them up and support them as I was and hoped to do for others...... (standng back now waiting for the slap in face i am sure to get)

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Who had the right to tell you that Keith, there are no room admins or monitors.

    I am sorry you had to experience that level of insensitivity.....shame on them.

    We can always stick to moaning about farming eh ;)

    Debs xx