Disillusioned with Chat...don't all attack at once!

3 minute read time.

Hi folks,

This has taken me sometime to put together because I know it is a sensitive subject so I hope I have addressed it correctly. 

In February of last year, I stumbled across What Now.  It was at a time when I was feeling very low and alone.  I’ve been living with cancer now since March 2004, so I wish I had come across this site much sooner!  I have since acquired some amazing friends from this site whom I love to bits :0)

I was so nervous when I first went into the chat room, but straight away Rose09 said hi and asked how I was, I told her I was new etc and slowly I revealed my story, I got so much support that evening, I came away feeling so much better knowing I had found this group who knew what I was going through and were happy to listen.

It’s because of the warm welcome, that I have (I hope) always said hello to new people, encouraged them to talk, share their worries.  I remember how nervous I was that first night in chat and I was a “cancer veteran” so to speak, so goodness knows how the newly diagnosed feel when entering chat for the first time, terrified and unsure to say the least.

Now I’m going to throw the cat amongst the pigeons here because I’m sure there are a lot of people who are going to disagree with me.  Let me make this clear, this is MY experience and my opinion of recent events in chat.  I also want to make it clear that this isn’t just since the merge of What Now and Mac, I had issues long before that.

I have felt for some time now disillusioned with chat.  I loved chat, it was somewhere to go and meet people, share good news, share fears, celebrate life and mourn the passing of friends.  However there have been on occasion people who have made what I feel are inappropriate comments.  This site when all is said and done is a Cancer Support Group.  So yes it’s ok to have a laugh etc but it is also ok for people who are having a tough time to talk about their fears or any issues they may be trying to work through, it’s also a place where “newbies” be it newly diagnosed or simply new to the site should be nurtured and encouraged to talk which in turn will make them want to come back, after all surely that is the main aim?  I think it’s unacceptable that some people have been made to feel as if they are spoiling the fun, some of whom have actually even been told so.  We have to remember that it is first impressions that count in chat and if we don’t interact with new visitors then they won’t return and they may be in dire need of the support that we all know we can offer!

I’m not aiming this at anyone in particular, as I have said it is a general observation about the change that seems to have occurred in chat.  I hope it doesn’t last, it will be a shame.  I have thought recently of just not bothering with it, but then I think that is silly and selfish because there will always be days when I need the comfort and support of chat and days where someone may need comfort and support from me, so I’m here to stay and for those of you who have also become disillusioned with chat, I hope you reconsider and come back.  It is after all a fantastic site!

Love and Peace

Indie xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    After reading this blog and leaving my first comment I ventured into the chat room again and said hi how is everyone doing and only had one reply, Thank You Johnr, sat for a while with no response to my question then said bye to Johnr and left, might try again its not always like that.....

    take care love Terri xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    let me know Terri, I'll come and hold ya hand (metaphorically cos we couldn't type otherwise eh).

    Debs xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Well said Indie, i have always found it to be very clickey-have only been on for a couple of times, just not cancer chat at all,

    Take care, Julie x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    The first time I went onto chat everybody was so caring and encouraged me to talk. I was in a bad way when I first went on, just lost my dad and was devastated,without the help and support of the regular people on chat I for one would of fallen apart. They have cried with me,cyber hugged me and helped me to smile.

    I have only ever had one bad experience on. Yes I was ignored but there was no-one I knew i said hi got no response so left after a short while but that was only once.

     I would like to say a big thank you to everyone that has been there for me at what has been possibly the worst time in my life.

    You are all amazing

    Love

    Jules xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    when I came onto the site 2 months ago I was greeted warmly by everyone and made to feel very welcome. I have always tried to greet every newcomer in the same way although when it is very busy it it not always easy to keep up. I've never been on a chat site before and didn't know what to expect, I was also a bit scared that I may not be able to deal with the different experiences discussed. However in my experience the chat line has been a tremendous help and although it is sometimes heartbreaking it is also somewhere to laugh and, yes, have fun. I cannot comment on the old site as I was not a part of it but I am very grateful for this site even though there are problems at times. love Karen