LAST FEW MONTHS OF CURE!
Can you stop acting like a fool please?
If not for yourself, could you do it for me?
If only for the duration we're facing?
The final part, the most important piece:
The part where you FINALLY get cured of this disease!
The point where you'll finally be able to stop fighting!
Re-discover your health, & start doing all you were wanting,
Live the life you dreamt of;
The one you were headed for,
Before this evil disease SNATCHED it all away!
I feel guilty in my own wierd way
Feel like somehow I helped you enter the life you now endure;
It was me, after all, that tricked you into seeing your doctor!
It was that action, by me and all we discovered 'That Day';
What illness you had, & what all that entailed;
Chemo, hairloss, denial, despair....
It was ALL down to me, however 'good' my intent!
But all you were planning for, was simply snatched away in a moment!
All your dreams plans and hopes-Just GONE in a few seconds in time!
The pain I feel for causing you all this, is now the cross I bear,
And you should know by now, that if I could, I'd take it all away!
Re-wind time, so we can merely skip That Day,
Undo all that was said; all the chemo & hairloss: just write it away!
It'd all be irrelevant, cos there would never have been a that day!
Life would just be carrying on as before;
Before our lives came crashing down around us with one word: Cancer!
It would never be the curse you now endure
Because there would be no such thing ever heard of before!
And as it was, up until we saw your doctor
Life would simply continue, the way your were planning it to!
We'd have skipped a day forward in time,
And by doing so left the disease, called Cancer, behind!
So no-one; anyone, would ever have to experience a THAT DAY again!
BUT:
You still have to get there yet!
Stop acting like a pratt!
You're dragging my heart behind every wrong move you make;
Every wrong decision you decide to take
Affects me too!
I'm not blind;
I'm the one forced to sit, poweless, watching,
Seeing every mistake you make,
Wondering, if you even realise, that my heart's going to break?
All the time,realising that you don't seem to care!
Nothing means anything, unless it's all about you;
Least that's what I see from my point of view!.....
Does this mean I'm just being selfish?
Looking out for numero uno?
I don't feel selfish-I feel scared of all this!
Frightened, while you blunder on, making all these mistakes.
You make me feel so alone; like this is somehow one big game
Or the fact that you'll do this to me, simply 'cos you can!
You're holding all my emotions in your hand,
Haven't you considered that whatever, eventually, all games end?
I Still love you-Please open your eyes!
Take the time to realise
That blundering blindly denying it all
Will be your regret, when it goes arse round tit
And, by default, I'll be dragged into it!
Open your eyes and be a Man,
If you really want the happy end!
Nothing comes to those who dont try,
Maybe you should start to help yourself;
No more living in denial,
No more giving up giving up!
Just doing everything as it should.
Nine months, then you'll have your cure,
And you'll never have to look back, because you'll have a future!!!......
Before you get that, you have to face your illness and cure.
Ignorance is only for the weak; for the ones who find it easier to ignore:
But ignorance isn't bliss; not in the long term!!!
I wish you'd open your eyes,
Take off the blinkers,& realise
You have this chance to live the life your wanting,
So grab it with both hands son; it's all yours for the taking!
ALL MY LOVE FROM MUM. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
