Not more ****!

4 minute read time.

Hiya all, sorry about this, but i need to get out of me, whatever it is im feeling,-& i always do that by writing. I'm really writing this for myself....helps me to get it out-it's carthartic for me-i love writing, plus it helps to get it out; well does for me........ 

Im sure those of you who read it, are aware that about three fridays ago tomorrow->(6/11/'09)<, my son 'broke out' with his friends, & came home in such a state that it ended up with me calling the ambulance-which led to the paramedic phoning the police....etc- you all read it: son ended up in hosp, then was allowed home after a while-the police bought him back.

My son was hallucinating-he kept saying 'things', & thinking he was somwhere else, & that other people were there, he was also sweating, -so i had no option but to call paremedic.

Today, after literally walking through the front door to my home, the police were knocking on it. Seems that suddenly, three weeks later, the paramedic has injuries, & has made formal complaint? 

Paramedic  told me he was fine when he left mey home! He was....I was sober when ALL this happened-I know EXACTLY what happened-my son was not compliant with ambulance guy, cos he didnt know who he was, or even where he, (son himself was)!  He was hammered, & hallucinating. Paramedic knocked my son to the floor, cos of sons vebal aggression, within less than a min of entering my home. He called the police, because, as he said to  me & i understood perfectly, he needed to treat my son, but needed support from police. He also ASSURED me son wasnt going to get 'knicked', they  (police) were just to help back him up, & help to get son into hospital.

Now, son's in hospital at moment, (2nd time since that 'incident' for infection & IV antibiotics) I havent told him about this at all with police. He is down enough, without this. He's stuck in a hosp sideward, alone & down in himself/worrying about what we'll hear on Monday. 

We'll be finding out results from minibeam chemo, monday- 8 /11/ '09....That is big enough in itself-let alone, what he willl be facing, regaurds cure, & where we go next, cure wise), after that meeting...& this is just too much for him.

It's too much for me, & i havnt been pumped full of chemo for nearly 2yrs! I am not 21 & facing my mortality-& feeling 'tired & worn down' about everything!

The best thing that could happen to my son now  is good news; not an interrogation down the cop shop-(he's MEANT to avoid potential 'germy places) -Cells/dirty;  cop shops, are dirty ol holes- They're bang outa order! My Son hasnt got a criminal record-nothing, he's very proud about that; he's not a threat! I live here with him, im not threatened!

He had ambition before all this, now it's like he doesnt care, cos he is that down in his own self-he needs support, not more damn pressure!

Even IF there is a case to answer, surely they could let him EXPLAIN after all this, once he's cured, & he's feeling strong again; not all this now!

I dont know-I know my son was outa order for shouting a paramedic, but I did thank paramdic, & he said it was fine before he left with son in ambulance.....

Sometimes you feel like you cant take anymore, then more comes!

My other bugbear is the way plod bloke said "..if he's well enough to go out drinking and getting drunk with his friends, he's well enough to go to the station"!! (QUOTE)!

I did ring Cathy, oncology/macmillan nurse-she took 'officers' number, & hopefully put this off-or stopped it. They took him to hosp he's in now, so i may 'mooch' around paramedics tomorrow when i visit, see if i can see him, find out what's going on....

I had to write this, & cheers anyone who wants to read it!-It's my rant, my anger, my bloody frustration! Here we are again, i'm him his Mum,should be able to help-but i cant. I feel so useless. I cant do anything, to do something, to get him out of something i got him into, (in a roundabout way)!

When the plod were in my home today, they gave me a card, even when i said he's in hospital, they didnt listen to me, overspoke me reallyI  said id would have to ring in a week-if son's out within that week, i have to ring, so they'll come, & take him down there...it's cold in them places too! Cant they see he's going through enough?- & I f I dont, they'll come and arrest him!

I said to them, ok, whatever paramedic said is wrong with him, I did-I said nick me, I did whatever paramedic said....they didnt want me tho...But if I just stick to that story....saves a lot of grief for my son.....

Anyway- rant over! I feel alot better for getting that out!

Hope whoever is reading this, is the best they can in themselves... :-)

Yep, i'd be the first to defend a paremedic/nurses/docors-all those who work to help others, against physical, (& verbal), attacks....But my son DID NOT hit the guy-the bloke was nearly half the size of my son; as said, son wasnt 'with it', was acting 100% out of character!  If he'd hit him, matey would be injured bigstyle, my sons big-but he isnt a violent young man...

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    get a solicitor and medical notes to confirm your sons illness. he should qualify for legal aid.Write to chief constable re police mans remark that if he is well enough to get drunk he is well enough to

    come to the station. He is not a doctor and he is not qualified to state that somebody is ill or drunk.

    Do not let your son be interviewed without a solicitor.

    Do you have legal expense cover on your household insurance might be worth checking if the para medic starts civil procedures. My thoughts are with you and your son. It happened to my brother he was ill but they mistook it for being drunk and he was taken to a police station instead of  hospital

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Bless you, all of you for replying; & so honestly too!

    We have decided there is no case to answer, & if there is, we want to see evidence- (IE:Pics of whatever 'damage' my son was supposed to have done to paramedic).

    I've a bruv: his past lead to lots of trouble with the police. I asked him-he said to just leave it; we have too much to worry about, without this too!

    Bruv said to say that IF paramedic wants to press charges, we'll see him in court.

    We'll have a darn good brief, documentation from specialists/medical profession/etc; to support son's case. I'll tell them to 'gather' all their evidence against my son-& we'll see them in court...

    The judge would sling it out....there'd be no case to answer!

    Anyway, son'll be in hospital 2/12/09- for stemcell transplant, & will be having GEMCITABRINE chemo, once a week, for next 3wks, starting this Wednesday,Nov 11th, (Or Thursday12/11 '09)

    So hike off plod man!

    We'll see him in court once ALL this is over-IF there is a case to answer- but any judge worth his/her salt, would throw this'n out of court!

    Thankyou merica-for replying & your advice.

    Also my dear friend FENTEACHER: I agree with you, Son's not going down to station! If they DO come to arrest him now, he'll be going through a course of chemo, then transplant.

    So it could only be done after his treatment.

    We'll see them in court then, after all this-(which we'd want; because if son made it to court-it would mean he's well again)!

    So,bring it on...I like that way of looking at it, that IF son does go to court, it'd be because he is better!!! GreatStuff!

    But really,realistically, there isnt a case to answer!

    ChristineR- I was gobsmacked at what you wrote! My gosh, as if being ill yourself isnt enough, without you having to contend with this sort of ignorance! I am SO very sorry for your daughter too.....She doesnt want,or need,or even warrant being 'nicked'!

    I cannnot believe that what you wrote actually happened-it's shocking!

    Your daughter had enough in her head at that time, as did you-the LAST thing you needed was COURT!!! I am still shocked as i write this-i cant believe they'd do that, when the home situation was struggle/ill health-etc!

    Do these 'law enforcers' not realise that situations can cause people to react in a way that is totally alien to them normally? I cannot believe THEIR ignorance-I wonder how they'd 'feel' IF it was THEIR family!!!!  

    You do know that after 5yrs, your daughter will be 'clean' of her criminal record.?

    She WONT have to declare it on job/college/uni/study applications, etc!....I am sure you are aware of this, but incase you didnt know-you do now!

    I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through this though! I hope you are as well in yourself, as you can be now!....

    Lucylee- thankyou for advice-Son hasnt seen counsellor, but he is now seeing a psycopherapist-(he needs to, for stemcell transplant). I have been seeing a counsellor since 2005, when I lost my mum to a stroke, so i have had 'mental support', & continue with it still....+ I joined macmillan online-& have found support from so many on here-like everyone who has replied/shared stories on this link/+ others that haven't, but have 'helped' in other ways, at other times...

    .

    anna35...I can believe what you put as I have seen this with my own eyes...The police try to start the process, try to make the person 'loose their rag', so they can then arrest the poor person, who would be fine if left with friends. The police are too ignorant, have too much power nowadays: they blunder in, & instigate trouble!

    I have seen this done to my brother-(when we were younger, about 20yrs ago)!

    And I have actually been pulled in my car, (I was legal), & the police recieved an EMERGENCY CALL, & they left me,and went off to do some REAL police work...not the harrassment to me,on my way home from work, with son, then a child, in his car seat!!!

    It's really no wonder that the public has little faith in the police!

    Graeme- I have told son just what you said to say-I really appreciate all the advice-you have given me alot since i 'joined' this online support group! Thankyou for the advice!

    I hope you are well in yourself too! :-))

    Bless you all for even bothering to reply: & I am so sorry for all the incidence's that you have either witnessed or experienced at the 'mercy' of the police!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello again.  Firstly I'd like to say, I've been catching up on your blog and think it's great news that your son's growths have all but disappeared. I wish him all the very best with his transplant. I'm sure it will all go really well for him.  I hope the treatment he is having beforehand isn't too severe for him.  I will keep an eye out to see how he is getting on.

    Thank you for your comments regarding my daughter.  I didn't know that the record is cleared after five years.  I'm sure she will be relieved to know that.

    I still find it hard to believe that the paramedic involved with your son, knowing the circumstances, could act the way he has done.

    I remember when the police came to my house to charge my daughter.  I explained the circumstances to them, but they told me that even just putting your hand on someone's arm is considered assault.  I liked Graeme's comments that she should have said she woke up to someone touching her up lol.  Well, as they say - The Law's An Ass!

    Sending some love to you, your son and all your family.  Christine xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    no they dont clear your record after 5 years thats just a myth, i know that from experience as i use to be a little git at one time and a bit of a footy hooligan back in the 70s....etc etc etc...lol

    if theres no proof and it sure seems to me there is none then the dps wont take it any further as its up to them and not the police if it goes to court or not...

    if you have a date to go to the police station unless your lad is in hospital then he should turn up . if he dont turn up and they decide to charge him they may object to bail..if your son cant turn up make sure you let plod know why and that will be fine im sure but do tell them if he cant turn up or they could get snotty....

    from what iv read they dont have a case unless your son was to admit to something.....you cant get done just because someone says youv done something in this country there has to be hard evidence...even if the paramedic had a bruise it still wouldnt mean your son did it...i really dont think you or your son need to worry...

    let us know how it turns out on this blog.....