My friends Dad passed away this morning in a hospice of bowel cancer. I hope i am saying the right things, i think she is expecting me to say it get easier but for me so far it hasn't.....it has only gotten harder.
FormerMember
Hi Vicki, I am so sorry to hear about your friend's dad. It must bring it all back to you too.
It does get harder as time goes on I think. I have come to the conclusion that it never really gets better, as such, just less raw.
My cousin's husband lost his mum yesterday and I visited them today and found it so difficult to find the right words to say. They were both there for me when my dad died and I just hope that by being there for them I am helping in some small way. I'm sure your friend appreciates that you are there for her also.
Hi Vicki the words are not important as the others have said - being there for her is important but even more important being ready to listen when she feels the need to chat and letting her know you really do want to listen her.
Anywords you have for her will come from the heart so please don't feel you almost need a script, be honest with her - tell her it hurts - but also tell her that while having a friend may not take the pain away - it is still so much better than just sitting alone thinking . Hugs
personally, i dont think there are 'right words', as everyone's grief and depth of loss is different. there are definitely things not to say (as i am sure you have found in your own experience), but generally i think 'actions' are far more important, and so as some others have said - being there for your friend, acknowledging her pain, is far more important than any words that are said.
hopefully you can both help each other through this awful time in your lives.
