Tears from nowhere!

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

5 Sep 2010

I don't know what's happening to me today, i feel sad, empty and kind of lost. I have taken myself up to my bedroom for 3 hours this afternoon because i could feel all these strange emotions bubbling to the surface (and to read 'breaking dawn')

I wish there was a way to control how i feel and when i feel it.

It is my brothers birthday on tuesday and he wants us to go for a meal. This will be the first of our birthday without dad here. If it was today i wouldn't be going... hopefully tuesday i will feel stronger and more in control.

I can look at a picture of dad now and smile and remember good things so surely that is a good sign that i am dealing with things............. so why the feelings of despair that i feel today. I couldn't talk to mom earlier she sounded so upbeat, i didn't want to bring her down but she knew i wasn't right.

Hope you are all doing ok,

I don't expect replies guys i just needed to get those thoughts out.

Tc all xxxxxxxxxxx

FormerMember over 14 years ago

aww huni its not our day today :( ,

that is a very good sign being able to look at a pic and smiling , their is no way to control grief ,pardon the expression but it just comes up and bites you on the backside when you least expect it , and vicki you are doing amazing but you do need to grieve and cry it actually does you good to let it out ,

i really think and hope you will be up to tuesday but it wont be easy , but i know you will do your dad proud and get through it ,

love and hugs jenni xxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Thanks Jen, strangely i was fine when i spoke to you this morning.....like you say i guess it just crept up and bit me on the bum, i'm tucking into chocolate now and going to watch x-factor from last night so hopefully that will take my mind of stuff a bit.

Has your day got better hun??
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

hey huni, hmm well been grumpy and snappy all day , but just been speaking to a lovely friend so feel bit better , just hope i get some sleep tonight ,

thanx again for this morning huni :)

enjoy xfactor was very funny wait for the argument at the end :) and enjoy the choc , big hugs xxxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Vicki, don't be too hard on yourself. everyone is entitled to days when they feel like shutting the world out. You are doing really well, don't beat yourself up for needing a bit of time to deal with your thoughts.

On a lighter note, (I wish) chocolate sounds like a pretty good solution to me just now (very short term crash dieter with absolutely no hope of being anything but fat for my 40th!!) Trying to tell myself Im getting too old to deny myself anything now ..lol!!

take care of yourself, hope tomorrow is a better day.

Love and hugs Sharonx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Pinkvicki,

I think these strange emotions and tears from nowhere are normal, well at least I think so, as I have felt like that on occasions too.

It is a very sad loss that both you and I have and I'm not sure what I can do to make things better for you and I.

Tommorow morning will be the 12th week, and and it feels like things haven't got very far. it feels like i'm still stood still whilst the rest of the world is carrying on with their normal life, like nobody has noticed.

Hope you have a better day and that things will improve..

P.S. I've made an effort and cleaned my fish tank today so i'll get a photo or 2 added to our whacky pet blog lol

Lots of hugs..

Monkey888 (Mimi)
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