I don't know what's happening to me today, i feel sad, empty and kind of lost. I have taken myself up to my bedroom for 3 hours this afternoon because i could feel all these strange emotions bubbling to the surface (and to read 'breaking dawn')
I wish there was a way to control how i feel and when i feel it.
It is my brothers birthday on tuesday and he wants us to go for a meal. This will be the first of our birthday without dad here. If it was today i wouldn't be going... hopefully tuesday i will feel stronger and more in control.
I can look at a picture of dad now and smile and remember good things so surely that is a good sign that i am dealing with things............. so why the feelings of despair that i feel today. I couldn't talk to mom earlier she sounded so upbeat, i didn't want to bring her down but she knew i wasn't right.
Hope you are all doing ok,
I don't expect replies guys i just needed to get those thoughts out.
Tc all xxxxxxxxxxx
