How do i say those words????????????

i know it is very hard for you and your family, my cancer is also terminal, luckily i am a very strong person, i also had the misfortune to watch my step brother being practically force fed by his siblings trying to keep him alive, taking everything to stay alive for them his wife and kids wanted to let him go in his time and his siblings took over, i have warned my family when i say enough they must honour my wishes,im not sure how to put this kindly, so i will just say it, cancer is not a quick or gracefull death, and i personally believe when the end is imminent, the quicker the better, your only trying to hold on to your dad the person, he`s still there but the cancer has his body, please, if he wants to stop let him, hes not being selfish hes being kind, trying to save you and yous as much heartache as he can, i have given my docs and family my living will no meds when i am not able to speak for myself, no force feeding, and no ressusetation, the best gift you can give your dad would be to let him know he can make a living will which takes the decision away from your family, and let him know.....IT`S OK TO GO

my heart breaks for you, as for my own family, but dont make it any harder for your dad than it already is, he will be feeling guilty for causing you all so much pain, and his gift to you is to try and make it easier... let him

((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

liz xxx

I can understand your distress and pain but you must think of your father first. My sister died of cancer and after two rounds of chemo, she said enough was enough. The chemo was making her feel so unwell and she felt such a sense of relief that she could retrieve some control over what was left of her life. It meant that her last few weeks had some normality and she had a quality of life.

Be brave and let him go.

Best wishes,

KateG

There is nothing more that I can add to Liz and Kate's replies,so God Bless, big hugs, Alison.x

You poor love!

It must be so hard for you to watch your dad suffering but letting go is a form of love.  If he feels he can't carry on with the treatment maybe you should respect his wishes.  As someone once said on here recently, quality of life is far better than quantity sometimes and I well know how debilitating chemotherapy can be.

We may have to face the same decision as you quite soon.  My partner John has two more sessions of chemotherapy and then a scan to see whether it's working.  I've already told him that if he decides not to carry on, I will respect his wishes and we will make the very best of what time is left to us.  

Of course I am hoping and praying that the chemo is working after all the suffering he has been through but I'm preparing myself for bad news, if that is what fate has in store for us.

Be strong for your dad.  If you do decide to say those words there will be tears, I know, but he will know how much you love him.

Love and *hugs*.

oh huni, my heart feels for you, i lost my hubby in march and god that decision is so painful ,i suppose we were lucky ,we didnt have to make that the decision as was too late,was so aggressive it spread so fast, ju was only 40, so the hospital made it for us, but we did have the option of trial painrelief ect for last couple of months ,so we decided no because we had such little time left ,why waste it in hospital and with even more side effects, and im so glad ,the point im trying to make is you need to love your dad (as i know you do), respect his choice as hard as it is ,and treasure what time you have, this is one of the last things you can do for him ,it will break your heart but remember its only because you love him, take care love jenni xx